Showing posts with label republican party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label republican party. Show all posts

Friday, December 31, 2021

You May Not Be Interested In Politics...

But politics is interested in you



This is a weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids — the Stickies — eventual selves to advise them and haunt them after they've become grups and/or I'm deleted.   

Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in a debilitating intersectional meltdown.  
Glossary 

Erratically Appearing Hallucinatory Guest Star: Dana — A Gentlereader  

"Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed."
                                                                                              -Mao Zedong 


Dear (eventual) Grandstickies and Great-Grandstickies (and Gentlereaders),

{Wait-wait-wait. Leon Trotsky's famous quote isn't "You may not be interested in politics..." it's "You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you."}

Actually, it's not. Being a semi-responsible columnist I've done my research and it appears highly unlikely that Trotsky should get the credit. It's a very complicated story that I'll spare you and my gentlereaders. 

{We appreciate that, and ain't you the clever little columnist for cashing in on it anyway?}

Thanks, Dana, I think so too, which brings us to congressional redistricting by the legislature of my beloved home state, Ohio. One of the ten American states that have full-time legislatures. Lucky us! 

{It does? And didn't you recently write a column about Ohio and 35,000 misprinted license plates? And isn't Ohio the same state you never tire of reminding people that you're only temporarily residing in — for the last 35 years? Is this column now only about the goings-on in Ohio?}

Yes, it does. Yes, I did. Yes, I do. No, it isn't. Think of this as a sequel if you like. Ohio part two, Politics. Read on, Macduff! 

{And now you're deliberately misquoting another misquote?}

Good point, mayhaps a theme is emerging. If it pleases the court, I need to supply some background information. 


The majority of the current 135 members of the Ohio legislature, 98.6% of the members of the executive branch, and...

{You pulled that percentage out of your...}  

Technically speaking, mayhaps, but it still serves...and four of the seven current Ohio Supreme Court justices are Republicans.

{Hold on there, Sparky. The supreme court justices are non-partisan!}

All that means here in the Buckeye State is that although they're creatures of the party that nominates them, there's no tiny R. or D. next to their names on the ballot when they're running for office. 

{Is mayhaps the word of the week? Is it even a real word?}



Not long ago the legislature approved, and the governor signed, a law that redraws Ohio's congressional districts. I shall spare my gentlereaders (and Dana) all but a minimum of the gory, insanely complicated details.

Suffice it to say that Otto Von Bismark's famous quote, "Laws are like sausage. Better not to see them being made" comes to mind.

{Let me guess, he didn't actually say that, right?}

Apparently not, but I don't recommend following this link. The article from Quote Investigator that it links to is rather, um, sausage-like. 

Bottom line: The redistricting, which is supposed to last till the next national census in 2030 will only last for four years when fresh sausage will have to be made. That's assuming it withstands the legal challenges that are already being litigated. 

The new law could be used to teach gerrymandering 101. Starting next year my current congressional district (a weakening but still Democratic stronghold) will have grown a tail that's seven Republican counties long.

As my late father-in-law would say, "A blind man could feel it with a walking stick." 

{Let me guess, he didn't actually say that.} 

Sure he did, why do you ask? 

Fun Ohio Fact: Our Republican governor's son is a Republican Ohio Supreme Court justice who has made clear he doesn't see any need to recuse himself from the law's challenges before the Ohio Supreme Court.  

{You're a Republican, shouldn't you be glad that...}

No, I'm not, and I'd be embarrassed if I were. 

As of now, I'm America's only official Neorepublican, and I'm running for king in 2024 — follow this column for details. The Democratic party is controlled by Wokies; the Republican party is a personality cult in thrall to the Donald.

For now, let me just point out that we Neorepublicans are primarily motivated by reviving America's founding principles. Reluctantly, I must step in to save the Republic.

{Gee, thanks. but what about the vaguely menacing title/subtitle of this missive?} 

Everything above has been about building to my big finish which the citizens of any given state can relate to, not just the citizens of Ohio. 


The story of the in-your-face sleazy politics perpetrated by the Ohio Republican Party has vanished faster than the story about the driverless rogue SUV that attacked a Christmas parade in Wisconsin.

If the blatant gerrymandering isn't stopped in court the people here in Hooterville, and certain other now-former Democratic strongholds in Ohio, are going to be very unpleasantly surprised come November 28th, 2022.  

Poppa loves you,
Have an OK day


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Friday, August 27, 2021

A New Republican Party?

 And a neo-republican movement


This is: A weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids and my great-grandkids — the Stickies — eventual selves to advise them and haunt them after they've become grups and/or I'm deleted. Reading via monitor/tablet is recommended for maximum enjoyment.  

Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in a debilitating intersectional triggering. Intended for H. sapiens that are — in the words of the late, great bon vivant and polymath, Professor Y. Bear — "Smarter [and cooler] than the av-er-age bear." 
Glossary 

Erratically Appearing Hallucinatory Guest Star: Dana — A Gentlereader  

"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." -Aesop


Dear (eventual) Grandstickies and Great-Grandstickies (and Gentlereaders),

I've been threatening to explain what I mean by neoneoconservatism for a while now. 

I've decided to banish that term, replace it with the word neorepublicanism, and announce that not only is it my intention to champion a neorepublican movement, I also intend to make it the governing philosophy of the (alleged) Republican party

{Odd... I must have missed the press release announcing the date and time of the press conference. I'll bet the world is all... atwitter.} 

I see what you did there, Dana. And speaking of twits, I've decided to join the warring flocks. 

Dana shudders in revulsion. 

{Have you switched meds again and/or started seeing a new shrink?} 

Fear not. I'll use Twitter the same way I use Facebook, to announce my newest column and post interesting content created by others in search of new readers, perhaps to eventually promote a new Republican party. 

I have no plans to get into bloodless battles from a safe distance with my fellow birds but I invite anyone and everyone to attack me as mercilessly as they please.  

Gentlereaders are welcome to virtually kick me instead of actually kicking their pets, employees, children, themselves, "partners," etceterers. 

{I've noticed your columns don't have a comment section.}

No comment. 


As to altering the philosophy of the (allegedly) Republican party, given that both parties are chock full of careerist hacks at all levels whose primary purpose is to get and remain elected to anything that will spare them having to find employment in the real world...  

Well, my frequent use of the terms Republicrat and Depublican clearly and efficiently makes my point. A hack is a hack is a hack. 

America is, by definition, and by the design of the Founding Pasty Patriarchs (FPPs), supposed to be a republic. According to my Merriam-Webster app, a republic is a government in which supreme power resides in a body of citizens entitled to vote and is exercised by elected officers and representatives responsible to them and governing according to law.      

The FPPs, having been aware of the many downsides of direct democracy, created a republic that, despite its many flaws and missteps, has lasted nearly 250 years and resulted in the most prosperous nation the world has ever seen. I would remind my gentlereaders that the current border crisis is not about people trying to get out of the country.  

And (so far) 51% of the Citizens of the Republic have yet to get together and vote to behead the other 49%.

So far.  


As to the tenets of neorepublicanism, since it's my column I get to quote myself.

"I want the playground to have minimum rules and maximum fun. I want just enough rules to give everyone an equal shot at some swing time and neutralize the bullies." -me

Currently, thinkers on the right, conservatives and libertarians, are thrashing out the details of what constitutes the principles of what many refer to as the new right or some similar term with a similar meaning. Forging an updated fusion of the various factions of the right ain't gonna be easy. I'd like to suggest that the unsexy proverb, live and let live, guide the struggle. 

Personally, I'd like a (new and improved!) Republican Party to be the party of, in Roger Scruton's words, "... people who love something actual and want to retain it." 

Such as the traditional family... but, finding loving, rational solutions to support the children of illegitimate or nontraditional parents.  

Such as religious freedom, "No, you don't have to bake a cake that promotes something you think is a sin." 

Such as what I call real social security, a cradle to grave system that you, your government, and your employer contribute to wherein you make the spending decisions, not a well-meaning (or not) Swamp dwelling bureauon. The sort of system that Singapore set up roughly a half-century ago that's still going strong. 

Such as federalism, as envisioned by the FPPs. If a given state votes to legalize or outlaw something not covered by federal law or the Constitution, that's their right. For example, while I would vote for limited abortion rights, I don't think the Supremes should legislate from the bench by inventing rights. 

Follow this columnist for further details. 

Poppa loves you,
Have an OK day


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