The Flyoverland Crank features the wit and wisdom of a garrulous geezer.

I'm an independent, self-published columnist who publishes a brand-spanking new column every Saturday. I would be willing to part with a body part of lessor importance to be hired/syndicated/occasionally published by someone whose checks don't bounce and would let me be me. If you're that someone:


As a public service to my gentlereaders, the only way to comment on my writing just now is via Cranky's Facebook page so as to protect my gentlereaders from having to endure the disheartening rants of certain species of bloodthirsty trousered apes that hunt in comment sections hoping to pounce on unsuspecting gentlepersons.   

(Update: You can temporarily comment at the end of my columns, at least until my high-priced consultants finalize their recommendations concerning the future of my column.) 

 My columns are (usually) my comments, I rarely post comments elsewhere. 

And speaking of public service, I don't go live, podcast, sell coffee cups, t-shirts, classes, or publish a newsletter. Trying to keep one's head above water while treading one's bum off in the Dizzinformation Ocean is already tough enough. If you'd like to receive my column via email you can easily sign up to do so on my website, but I don't pay any attention to who does and I don't sell email addresses. 

In my semi-humble opinion, reading my column on my website, preferably on a monitor of some sort, is the best way to follow my work. However, I am somewhat crankish. I use my phone primarily as a phone and only text when I have to. I think that a certain hard-to-define something is lost by consuming books, video content, articles — and columns — on tiny screens that is mitigated by larger screens.   

Any virtuous, right-thinking Citizen of the Republic should strive to be a patron of the arts, preferably by buying me some coffee, once, or once a month (GRIN). Thanks if you do, and thanks anyway for stopping by if you don't. If you're too pecunious to toss me a coin now and then when my work makes you smile, please share it, particularly with your more prosperous acquaintances.

"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." -Nietzsche. My why is my daughter, son-in-law, and the Stickies (grand and great-grand).

“At this point I reveal myself in my true colours, as a stick-in-the-mud. I hold a number of beliefs that have been repudiated by the liveliest intellects of our time. I believe that order is better than chaos, creation better than destruction. I prefer gentleness to violence, forgiveness to vendetta. On the whole I think that knowledge is preferable to ignorance, and I am sure that human sympathy is more valuable than ideology. I believe that in spite of the recent triumphs of science, men haven't changed much in the last two thousand years; and in consequence we must still try to learn from history. History is ourselves. I also hold one or two beliefs that are more difficult to put shortly. For example, I believe in courtesy, the ritual by which we avoid hurting other people's feelings by satisfying our own egos. And I think we should remember that we are part of a great whole. All living things are our brothers and sisters. Above all, I believe in the God-given genius of certain individuals, and I value a society that makes their existence possible.” - Kenneth Clark, "Civilization"

Have an O.K. day,
Marcus Mehlmar