Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Dateline: Paris, France

News That You Can Use (Vol. 5)
Daily Paper, Newspaper, Daily News, Publication, Media
pixabay

If you're new here, this is a weekly column consisting of letters written to my (eventual) grandchildren (who exist) and my great-grandchildren (who don't, yet) -- the Stickies -- to haunt them after they become grups and/or I'm dead.

[The following column is rated SSC (Sexy Seasoned Citizens). If read by grups or callowyutes it may result in psychological/emotional/etceteralogical triggering.]


                                                 Glossary  

                                         Just who IS this guy?


Irregularly Appearing Imaginary Guest Star: Dana -- A gentlereader

"The truthiness is, anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news 'at' you." -Stephen Colbert 


Dear (eventual) Grandstickies & Great-grandstickies (& gentlereaders),

Marie-Louise and Iggy came to me in a dream recently to inform me that Iggy has been selected by a rich, powerful, low profile polymath to live with him on his secret island and be his protege/heir/student (he and his wife are childless).

All the result of a random encounter at the Louvre when he and his wife overheard Marie-Louise and Iggy having a friendly argument about I.M. Pei's pyramid and joined in the discussion. I guess the controversy still simmers.

Well, I didn't see that coming! Although I'll miss the Iggmeister, plans have already been made for me to visit next Christmas. Anyways, I've no right to interfere in this once in a lifetime opportunity.

Iggy will get to finish growing up and have a life like the one I might've had if my family of dissolute European aristocrats had not sold me to Gypsies.

This, as you know, was the first link in a chain of events that led eventually to my "father" winning me in a poker game at the Gem Saloon in Deadwood, South Dakota.

Marie-Louise will stay with him for the foreseeable future but continue to inspire me from afar. As to...

[Cough, cough. What happened to news that they can use?]

I'm just taking care of some necessary column housekeeping, Dana. Besides, I do have a couple of fans that will regard the above as news they can use.


News That You Can Use (No 4), I recently discovered, was published back in March. Speaking of housekeeping, having recently turned three (the column, not me) I've been cleaning/updating/reorganizing/etceterizing. I found N.T.Y.C.U. (No. 4) being used to level a wobbly table in the armory.

Methinks it's time for a new column.

Dateline, France: France turns down citizenship for immigrant nurse because 'she works too much' 

Summary of the article linked to above: the nurse in question has to wait for two extra years to become a citizen of France because she has flaunted French law. She has regularly and routinely ignored the statute that makes it illegal to work more than 48 hours a week (including overtime, which apparently starts after 35 hours).

This unscrupulous, villainous healthcare professional has three jobs and averages a total of 59 hours a week taking care of patients.


Technically, the following news is olds because it's been true for quite some time. Still, it's good to know that the region -- world-famous manufacturing, hi-technology, and health care hub -- continues to thrive. 

Dateline: The Swamp. The 5 Counties with the Highest Median Household Income All Reside in the D.C. Area

Summary of the article linked to above: as the article's title indicates, the five
counties bordering the Swamp have the highest median household income in the United States of America... And that's all I have to say about that.


Dateline: Berkely, People's Republic of California. The City Council of Berkeley governs at the bleeding edge of Wokeness. Recently, in the course of the same week, they passed two laws. One to promote social justice and one to save the environment.

Never let it be said that the taxpayers of Berkely ain't gettin' their money's worth.
Gendered language like 'manhole' will soon be banned from Berkley's civil codes

As to the Nat gas ban, starting on the first day of next year the new law "requires all new single-family homes, townhomes and small apartment buildings to have electric infrastructure."

The council plans to eventually expand the law to cover all new buildings and have created a new, full-time gummit job for someone to make sure that nobody tries to put up a new building that uses natural gas. 

The job will pay $273,341 per year.

[Wanting to do my bit to save the planet, I hereby volunteer to do the job for only $270,341 per year -- if I get paid by the hour.] 

As to gendered language in general, manhole in particular, I probably should resist the temptation to repeat a very old joke that could possibly trigger all sorts of marginalized victims of this, that, and that other thing. 

[Are you referring to -- What's another name for sanitary napkins? manhole covers? -- you're right, you probably shouldn't mention it.] 

I just thought of something, I wonder what they're going to do about the obviously cisgendered/patriarchal/sexist/etceterist practice of referring to the two halves of various connectors as male and female?

Innies and outies? Anyways... 


Dateline: Paris, France. The Shift Project a...

[Wait-wait-wait. Everyone knows that Paris is in France. Who are you trying to impress? Geez, ain't it bad enough this thing started with a mention of the Lourve?]

Asamatterafact, I have a nephew who lives in Paris. Paris, Pennsylvania. Asamatterafact there are 23 cities in the USA called Paris. So why don't you just...

[Fine, let's just move on.]

Harrumph. The Shift Project, "...a French think tank advocating the shift to a post-carbon economy" has completed a study and discovered that "Digital technologies now emit 4% of greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions, that is to say, more than civil aviation" (my comma after say, their emboldeninization).

That is also to say, they say, that online video alone is responsible for 1% of global GHG emissions. Binge-watching is destroying the planet!

Solution?

The imposition of "Digital Sobriety" by legislation before it's too late. I can't recommend reading the Key Takeaways portion of the study (it's at the very beginning) enough.

And just because I can, I wish to point out that study somehow figured out that watching porn is responsible for almost .2% of GHG emissions. 

Poppa loves you, 
Have an OK day 

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Or, you can just buy me a coffee.  

Your friendly neighborhood crank is not crazy about social media (I am a crank after all) but if you must, you can like me/follow me on Facebook. I post an announcement when I have a new column available as well as news articles/opinion pieces that reflect where I'm coming from or that I wish to call attention to.

©2019 Mark Mehlmauer As long as you agree to supply my name and URL (Creative Commons license at the top and bottom of my website) you may republish this anywhere that you please. Light editing that doesn't alter the content is acceptable. You don't have to include any of the folderol before the greeting or after the closing (Have an OK day) except for the title.      







Saturday, July 20, 2019

Deep State

A review (sorta/kinda)

yeoldefrog
If you're new here, this is a weekly column consisting of letters written to my (eventual) grandchildren (who exist) and my great-grandchildren (who don't, yet) -- the Stickies -- to haunt them after they become grups and/or I'm dead.


[The following column is rated SSC (Sexy Seasoned Citizens). If read by grups or callowyutes it may result in psychological/emotional/etceteralogical triggering.]

                                                 Glossary  

                                         Just who IS this guy?

Irregularly Appearing Imaginary Guest Stars 
Dana -- A Gentlereader
Iggy -- A Sticky (GT*)
Marie-Louise -- My Muse (GT*)

"Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law if they could."                                                                          - P.J. O'Rourke 


Dear (eventual) Grandstickies & Great-Grandstickies (& Gentlereaders),

I'm not a critic. Well, I guess I am since my letters/columns are often critical of this, that, or even that. But I'm talking about those lucky few whose job -- that is to say someone pays them -- is to write reviews about this, that, or even that.

[Lucky few?]

Yeah, Dana, obviously. If someone paid me to watch TV or movies, play video games, listen to music, etceteric, and then express my opinion to the world, I'd thank God twice a day for my sweet gig.

Anyways... I want to discuss a television show that's running, at the time this being written at least, on ePix "...an American premium cable and satellite television network that is owned by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer." -Wikipedia


To begin with, I want to talk about what a stroke of genius the title is.

The term Deep State, as I use it, is a term that refers to the members of the unelected bureaucracy with enough power to thwart the actions of elected politicians and who can be hard to get rid of 'cause they're professional swamp dwellers who know how to game the system.

My version of the Deep State includes the 670,000 employees of The Gummit's 2,000,000 employees who are in unions and are in the enviable position of negotiating their contracts with people that pay them with other people's money, and often, who also want their votes.

BIG BUT,

The term Deep State means whatever the user wants it to mean and there is no shortage of H. sapiens who use it as the name for their favorite conspiracy theory who range from relatively rational to card-carrying members of the Tinfoil Hat Club.

And therefore,

The title appeals to a prodigious audience of passionate personages. The series tilts in a tinfoil hat direction. There's an evil, obscenely rich oligarch with people placed all over the Swamp, all over the planet actually, who do his bidding.

[He's more dastardly and more powerful than Simon Barsinister and all the would-be Underdogs (more below) are anti-heroes.]     


If someone asked me my opinion of the show I'd say, "Meh... could be worse -- not always awful, but not good either. The first season is better than the second."

I'm not impressed by the often hokey, predictable dialog. The show's emphasis, near obsession, with the personal domestic situations of the main characters gets old.

Spies, we learn -- both bad guys and good guys, well, bad guys and not as bad guys, alleged good guys and/or tragically conflicted guys, all of whom drop bodies like litterbugs drop Kleenex -- have seemingly no end of difficulty in maintaining healthy personal relationships. 


What I really want to talk about is the show's relentlessly recurring underlying theme -- blame America first.

And,

Point out that while not a few of my fellow Citizens of the Republic have become somewhat obsessed with Russian interference in our affairs...

[A time-honored tradition in which America (at least I hope so) enthusiastically gives as good as it gets.]

Via social media in general, and claiming that the Pooteen has made the Donald his bitch, specifically,

I wonder why they aren't demanding investigations/regulation/censorship of Hollywood?

I'll betcha a bottle a soda pop that the Endless Entertainment Industrial Complex brainwashes more Americans before breakfast than the Pooteen and social media do all day long.


Permit me to clear the decks by stating that I'm not a, My Country Right or
Wrong type. If your country is in the wrong you should say so, without fear of retribution.

I'll go first. Iraq was a mistake. Afghanistan was/is a HOOGE mistake.

Also, I get that Hollywood is about entertainment, not facts.

[On a vaguely related note, and since I've been dying to use it, as George Will (one of my intellectual heroes) recently quipped, "Congress is more theatrical than actual."] 

However,

Even though there's a string-pulling, greedy, blood-thirsty, man behind the curtain whose very voice is menacing we're subjected to frequent soliloquies by all sorts of disparate characters with one thing in common.

It's America's fault they're terrorists/traitors/dictators/alcoholics/etceterolics -- and also why they don't get to spend enough time with their kids (who live with their exes) and/or their current snifficant others and why they have to lie to them about pretty much everything.

Curiously, China and China's Emperor Xi's goals of becoming the world's loan shark and friend to dick-taters everywhere never comes up.


Finally, and perhaps most importantly, season two features the amazing Walton Goggins -- the coolest, most talented Academy Award-winning, Emmy nominated, producer and businessman you've probably never heard of -- gamely doing his best to heat up a tepid drama.

"Walton Goggins makes a habit of being the best thing about the television shows he's in." -Mike Hale, critic for the New York Times 

Instead of a Justified spin-off built around Mr. Goggins' character, the unforgettable Boyd Crowder, Hollywood's stuffed hin into this turkey.

Poppa loves you.
Have an OK day. 

Please scroll down to react, comment, or share.

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P.S. Gentlereaders, for 25¢ a week, no, seriously, for 25¢ a week you can become a patron of this weekly column and help to prevent an old crank from running the streets at night in search of cheap thrills and ill-gotten gains. Just click here or on the Patreon button at the top or bottom of my website.

Your friendly neighborhood crank is not crazy about social media (I am a crank after all) but if you must, you can like me/follow me on Facebook. I post an announcement when I have a new column available as well as news articles/opinion pieces that reflect where I'm coming from or that I wish to call attention to.


©2019 Mark Mehlmauer As long as you agree to supply my name, (Mark Mehlmauer), the title of my website (The Flyoverland Crank), and the URL (Creative Commons license at the top and bottom of the website), you may republish this anywhere that you please. Light editing that doesn't alter the content is acceptable. You don't have to include any of the folderol before the greeting or after the closing (Have an OK day) except for the title. 





 











Saturday, July 13, 2019

NPR

Microphone, Talk, Speak, Record, Radio, Vintage, Old
pixabay.com




If you're new here, this is a weekly column consisting of letters written to my (eventual) grandchildren (who exist) and my great-grandchildren (who don't, yet) -- the Stickies -- to haunt them after they become grups and/or I'm dead.


[Blogaramians: Blogarama renders the links in my columns useless. Please click on View Original to solve this problem and access lotsa columns.]

                               Glossary  

                   Just Who IS This Guy?

Irregularly Appearing Imaginary Guest Stars: 
Dana -- A Gentlereader
Iggy -- A Sticky (GT*)
Marie-Louise -- My Muse (GT*)

"People who listen to NPR are forever thanking the hosts for 'sharing,' or 'initiating a dialogue,' or 'taking the time to explain this very important issue.'"                                                                                            -Tucker Carlson


Dear (eventual) Grandstickies & Great-Grandstickies (& Gentlereaders),

I was listening to a local public radio station when I was out and about in the world in search of food. While I hate grocery shopping, most forms of shopping for that matter, I much prefer it to hunting and gathering.

As I've learned from my recovered/recovering friends/acquaintances/family members and some dude I was standing in line with at Five Guys Burgers and Fries: maintaining an attitude of gratitude takes the edge off of all sorts of things and it doesn't come with the inevitable side effects of substance abuse.

The practitioners of stoicism (the philosophy, not the Hollywood generated Leroy Jethro Gibbs types played by actors who often, not always, but often, seem to have feet of world-class clay version) figured this out a couple of thousand years ago.

Personally, I...

[Excuse me, special agent Mehlmauer, is this going anywhere?]

Sorry, Dana, point taken. I turned to/on the radio in Messy Momma's spiffy new SUV in a vain attempt to pacify my ruffled psyche.

Big Mistake
I was listening to a public radio show called On Point ("On Point is that now exceedingly rare public space where you hear nuanced explorations of complex topics live and in real-time."). 

They were doing a story about deepfakes: "Those doctored videos of Nancy Pelosi and Mark Zuckerberg highlight the growing threat of deepfake technology."

The bottom line was that the technology for altering video content for fun, propaganda, or fake news is making it harder and harder to tell real video from altered video and this is a RBFD (really big, um, freakin' deal).

Huh. 



As things stand at the moment, as far as I can tell, deepfake video is not much of a problem on established, mainstream cable/internet news/broadcast outlets --or anywhere else. In fact, just the opposite. More on that in just a sec'. I'm talking about any national/international news outlet with an audience sufficiently large enough to likely to be included with basic cable anywhere in the USA and/or with a major presence on the web.  

[By the way, Fox News and MSNBC are mainstream, no matter how hard they try to paint themselves otherwise. Pretending that they're not is purple journalism.]   

They talked about the YouTube video of Nancy Pelosi (costar of the hit reality broadcast, The Dancey & Shuckie show) that was deliberately altered to make it look like she was loaded.

Heaven forfend! The sheeple are going to be more susceptible to malignant manipulation than ever! We must get the word out because, of course, everyone assumes that video clips, particularly YouTube video clips, are as reliable a source of accurate information as, say, National Public Radio.


Why I don't see a problem is, well, this version of the disreputable video in question says it all.

It's a video clip, from YouTube, of coverage by NBC news of the crisis in question. Bottom line, they report that the video is a fake. In point of fact, if you go to YouTube and search for the invidious version of the vicious video, hit after hit turns up videos of various sundry debunkings of the original video.

I know it might be hard to believe, but it appears that the purple-tinted Infotainment Industry flogged this particular horse to an early grave.

You'll recall that I mentioned above that not only is deepfake video not much of a problem, "In fact, just the opposite," said I.

How so?

The crowded, highly competitive Infotainment Industry has to work hard to find enough stories to fill the 24x7x365 news cycle. While there's no shortage of news stories in a world that keeps getting smaller, stories that also keep people clicking/tuning in/even buying the dying dead trees formats, ain't easy. 

Our purple-tinted media must be ever vigilant and not neglect the entertainment aspect of their product. The Pelosi video is a double whammy. A deepfake video, fake news by definition, about a highly visible, highly partisan politician. Fake news and politics are both blood in the water. Fire up the Outragimatron!  

Deepfake videos are guaranteed to be scrutinized by the Infotainment Industry and this will help to neutralize the effect of all those internet videos that influence so many citizens of our naive and trusting republic. 

Also, we're blessed to be served by a highly principled, nonprofit organization like NPR, which oddly enough, is located in the Swamp.  

From the Washington Post via the Toledo Blade: "NPR’s gleaming new headquarters building in the shadow of the Capitol in Washington has soaring ceilings, a 24-hour 'wellness' center, an employee gym, and a gourmet cafe staffed by a resident chef." 

Keep those taxes and pledges coming, America. Poppa loves you.

Have an OK day. 
Please scroll down to react, comment, or share.


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P.S. Gentlereaders, for 25¢ a week, no, seriously, for 25¢ a week you can become a patron of this weekly column and help to prevent an old crank from running the streets at night in search of cheap thrills and ill-gotten gains. Just click here or on the Patreon button at the top or bottom of my website.

Your friendly neighborhood crank is not crazy about social media (I am a crank after all) but if you must, you can like me/follow me on Facebook. I post an announcement when I have a new column available as well as news articles/opinion pieces that reflect where I'm coming from or that I wish to call attention to.


©2019 Mark Mehlmauer As long as you agree to supply my name and URL (Creative Commons license at the top and bottom of my website) you may republish this anywhere that you please. Light editing that doesn't alter the content is acceptable. You don't have to include any of the folderol before the greeting or after the closing except for the title. 
         


 
  






Saturday, July 6, 2019

Food For Thought (No. 2)

If you're new here, this is a weekly column consisting of letters written to my (eventual) grandchildren (who exist) and my great-grandchildren (who don't, yet) -- the Stickies -- to haunt them after they become grups and/or I'm dead.


[Blogaramians: Blogarama renders the links in my columns useless. Please click on View Original to solve this problem and access lotsa columns.]

                                                 Glossary  

                                  Just Who IS This Guy?

Irregularly Appearing Imaginary Guest Stars 
Dana -- A Gentlereader
Iggy -- A Sticky (GT*)
Marie-Louise -- My Muse (GT*)

"There's no royalty in America, so people deify actors." -Joseph Gordon Levitt
"I think of myself as a young prince from a long line of royalty." -Wesley Snipes


Dear (eventual) Grandstickies & Great-Grandstickies (& Gentlereaders),

I wonder if the United Kingdom will still have a royal family by the time yinz guys are Sexy Seasoned Citizens like me? Considering Prince Chucky's spawn have spawned a passel of potential potentates, and the lucrative nature of the family business, I'm guessing it will.

Being a cynical old fart who suffers from chronic skepticism brought on by stumbling upon one too many unfortunate incidents while repeatedly circling the proverbial block, I'm aware there's much wisdom to be found in the simple three-word phrase follow the money.

Speaking of spawn, it was pictures of Prince Chucky -- sporting an impressive looking assortment of medals pinned to his flawless bespoke suits last month when he and the Donald visited France for the D-day commemorations -- that spawned this letter.

I went a-googling to discover how he managed to accumulate all that martial-themed bling because as far as I knew, although he had been in both the army and navy, he had never been in any danger of stopping a bullet fired in anger.

Of course, there's that rumor that Brigadier Andy, Vanilla Camilla's husband when she and Chucky got caught cheating on their respective spouses, got loaded and tried to shoot Chucky at (on?) a fox hunt. It's probably not true since I just made it up.

Anyways, turns out that all that hardware is the royal equivalent of good conduct and marksmanship medals. His mum gave him a few and he's got a cool uniform he can showcase them with 'cause he's in charge of the Welsh Guards.

[If you follow the cool uniform link above make sure you scroll down to see his Royal Chuckyness wearing one of those two-foot tall bearskin caps (yes they're made of real bearskin and fur) that make the big-haired rockers of the 80s look pathetic by comparison.]

From what I was able to discover...

[Sorry, I just can't help myself. If any of my readers hang out/are acquainted with the prince who would be king, whose bottom so far has only graced the same sort of throne we commoners use, please tell him that wearing all those Cracker Jack box medals at D-Day commemorations was, well, a little ballsy in my semi-humble opinion.]   

Royal Family, Prince Charles, Mask, Prominent
                            Image supplied by shutterstock


From what I was able to discover from several minutes of intense googling, a majority of British subjects seem to support maintaining these world-class amusement park characters. Well, there is the fact that unlike say, Disney world/land/whatever employees, these guys show up for work already trained.

I figured it was the fact that a lot of the peasants also work in/are beneficiaries of the imperial anachronism industry.

Someone's got to make/import/sell all the officially licensed geegaws, tchotchkes, and commemorative plates and it takes a lot of royal bum wipers and toothpick polishers to properly maintain a currently expanding royal family 24x7x365.

The monarchy of the UK has been around 1,000 years more or less which is more than enough time to fill the entire realm with On This Spot _______ plaques, castles, and down on their luck aristocrats. And nowadays you can be knighted for being a rock star.

Imagine how many jobs and how much money is generated by tourism and related industries.


I went looking for numbers and the consensus is that the imperial anachronism industry turns a healthy profit. Of course, estimates of just how much are all over the map as you would expect. It depends on who is doing the counting and exactly what is being counted.

A headline from the Irish Times, 5.19.18

Monarchy in the UK: the royal family's uncertain future

Makes it sound as though the royals should be updating their resumes and considering technical training classes. "I say, Mumsy, there seems to be a bunch of little people with pitchforks and torches gathering in front of the castle."

Purple Journalism alert
If you read the article, a mild hit piece chock full of if/then speculations masquerading as journalism, most of the content matches up with the headline but you'll discover two things.  First, it quotes an estimate that the monarchy yearly brings in 1.8 billion (with a b) Pounds to the realm but the tab for the extended family is only 300 to 350 million (with an m) Pounds. That's a nice markup.

What I find more interesting is that it hints at the overall popularity of the royals but neglects to mention that 7 out of 10 Britons call themselves monarchists. As to why, well, I found all sorts of reasons. However, my favorite one is mentioned in this article.

"Logic is not the most important factor. We are happy to accept eccentricity and quirkiness because they reflect an important part of our national character."

So, 

"The British monarchy is valued because it is the British monarchy."

Like us, our cousins on the other side of the pond have also resisted the imposition of the metric system so I say God Save the Queen! Poppa loves you. 

Have an OK day. 
Please scroll down to react, comment, or share.

P.S. Since writing this I came across the following quote. Considering the fact that globalization has its downsides, it makes perfect sense to me.

"The monarchy is the filter of Britain's collective memory through which its people forms its sense of identity." -David P. Goldman


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P.S. Gentlereaders, for 25¢ a week, no, seriously, for 25¢ a week you can become a patron of this weekly column and help to prevent an old crank from running the streets at night in search of cheap thrills and ill-gotten gains. Just click here or on the Patreon button at the top or bottom of my website.

Your friendly neighborhood crank is not crazy about social media (I am a crank after all) but if you must, you can like me/follow me on Facebook. I post an announcement when I have a new column available as well as news articles/opinion pieces that reflect where I'm coming from or that I wish to call attention to.



©2019 Mark Mehlmauer As long as you agree to supply my name and URL (Creative Commons license at the top and bottom of my website) you may republish this anywhere that you please. Light editing that doesn't alter the content is acceptable. You don't have to include any of the folderol before the greeting or after the closing except for the title.