He Said She Said They Said

Surviving in the Dizz/Misinformation Age

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

This is a weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids — the Stickies — eventual selves to advise them and haunt them after they've become grups and/or I'm deleted. Best perused on a screen large enough for even your parents to see and navigate easily.   

Trigger Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in a debilitating meltdown.  

About

Glossary 

Featuring Dana: Hallucination, guest star, and charming literary device  

"The country would be better off if we stopped having comment sections. And if we got rid of Twitter." -Colin Powell

Dear (eventual) Grandstickies and Great-Grandstickies (and Gentlereaders),

Like many people that watch/listen to two too many podcasts...

{That's your idea of a killer first sentence?}

Once I typed to two too many, there was just no going back.

...I've heard the word heuristics oft bandied so I went a-googlin' and the very first hit returned was a definition. 

{Oft bandied?}

Heuristics are mental shortcuts that can facilitate problem-solving and probability judgments. These strategies are generalizations, or rules-of-thumb, reduce cognitive load, and can be effective for making immediate judgments, however, they often result in irrational or inaccurate decisions. 

Perfect. And oh, please note, "...they often result in irrational or inaccurate conclusions," more on that anon. And oh yeah, a tip o' the hat to The Decision Lab for supplying the definition. 

For example, a pair of hungry Homo commonsensicusses emerge from a forest/jungle into a clearing at the same time as a huge, hungry, saber-toothed bitecherfaceoff. Having been around the forest/jungle a time or three they don't stop to debate and plan their strategery.

Their brains — based on past experience, available weaponry, the size of the bitecherfaceooff, how long it's been since they last ate, etceterate — rapidly recommends that they either prepare for battle (bitecherfaceoff steaks kick-ass) — or run like hell.  

{What's any of this got to do with he said she said they said?}

Patience, Tonto, patience. 

{Bite me, Kemosabe, bite me.}

I've never understood that phrase, it doesn't make sense.

{I know, right? But still...}

Scott Adams — cartoonist, author, daily podcaster, and former public speaker (more on that anon), the Dilbert dude — has noticed a powerful heuristic shortcut that's powered by the internet.

In Episode 1681, Scott Adams: Facts Don't Matter. It Only Matters How Much We Hated You Before You Spoke, Mr. Adams points out that "...we have completely stopped caring about topics and we only care about people," and provides examples of "...the personality being more important than the fact." 

Once a person reaches a certain level of notoriety and the kids on your team have identified him/her/they as being uncool, you're no longer burdened with discovering exactly what it was they actually said, in what context, and deciding if it was a valid, factual statement. 

Who said it is more important than what they said

This is a very handy shortcut when navigating a passage through the Information Ocean in search of the truth... or at least a friendly harbor where you can catch your breath and stock up on provisions. 

Who's got the time to watch/listen to all those podcasts, watch all those videos, or read all those articles, blogs, and columns? Even if you do have more time (and energy, and motivation) than the average Joe or Joan Bagadonuts, how do you know who or what to believe?

Worse yet, there are powerful people loose in the world whose power is based primarily on their ability to exploit our ubiquitous media, particularly social media, although their accomplishments in the real world, in meat space, are negligible. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortes comes to mind for some reason.

{But you digress.} 

Indeed.

Anyways...  Although he didn't mention it, Scott Adams is a perfect example of this phenomenon. Long before the election of the Donald in 2016, he predicted in a blog he no longer maintains that His Royal Orangenes would be the next president. This was when everyone else, including me, was saying no way; it's just the Donald marketing the Donald.

Mr. Adams, who wasn't a Trump supporter at the time, and whose political opinions are all over the map, merely set out to explain how it is Trump did/does what he does. Adams calls him a master influencer and set out to explain his power from the perspective of a trained hypnotist. It was really quite fascinating. 

{Did/does what he does?}

Cool, right? It also put an end to the Dilbert Dudes' lucrative sideline as a popular public speaker invited to lampoon the corporate weenies he lampoons in his comic strip — at corporate events sponsored by corporate weenies.

Although he went out of his way to explain he wasn't a Trumpie, that he was merely explaining how the Donald does what he does, a handful of rabid anti-Trumpers declared him a supporter of the evil one. Twits who had never read his comic strip, much less his blog, began twittering and the noise triggered an avalanche. 

As far as the corporate weenies were concerned he was now potato salad that had been left out in the sun. An income stream evaporated overnight. Fortunately for Mr. Adams, he had already accumulated FU-level wealth. But what about all those little fish trying to pay their bills that live in large ponds polluted with Wokie ideology?

Poppa loves you,

Have an OK day

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Scott Adams

      This is not Scott Adams at work. Image by Tania Van den Berghen from Pixabay 

This is: A weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids and my great-grandkids — the Stickies — to advise them and haunt them after they become grups or I'm deleted.

Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, and/or grups may result in a debilitating intersectional triggering. Viewing via tablet/monitor is highly recommended for maximum enjoyment.

Please Note: If ya click on an Amazon ad, thus opening a portal to Amazon, and buy anything, Lord Jeffrey will toss a few pence in my direction and you won't have to feel guilty about enjoying my work — well, hopefully — for free. Win/Win.

About 

Glossary 

Erratically Appearing Hallucinatory Guest Star: Dana — A Gentlerreader

"I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination." -Scott Adams

Dear (eventual) Grandstickies and Great-Grandstickies (and Gentlereaders),

The life of Scott Adams the cartoonist, the Dilbert dude, underwent a sea change in 2016 that you might not be aware of. 

Mr. Adam's, fortunately, was already comfortably seated on a relatively modest-sized pile of FU money when his cash flow river was... Well, it wasn't like one of those climate catastrophes you heard about in school wherein some river or other started flowing in the opposite direction.

However, his broad, rapidly flowing river was rapidly reduced to a humble creek when the Twitteratti and the Purple Press came after him with sharpened pitchforks and tiki torches.

In addition to his successful comic strip, Adams made/makes his dough in various ways, such as the sale of (good) books and merchandise. He was a very well-compensated corporate guest speaker. If you're familiar with his comic strip you'll appreciate the heavy-duty irony implicit in the preceding sentence.

Mr. Adams, who's undeniably smarter than the a-ver-age bear, predicted, on his blog, that the Donald would win the presidential election of 2016. That was his story and he stuck to it. Eventually, even the shell-shocked clerisy and pundocracy had to confront the fact most of 'em were wrong. 

Of course, the majority, most of whom never got over the 60s (even if they weren't actually there) immediately began doing what they do. They stepped up to selflessly do everything they could to save the Deplorables from themselves by doubling down on their commitment to turning the USA into a progressive utopia.

"Learn to code, you racist, fentanyl addled Believers and Gun Lovers. We assigned all your carbon generating jobs (and then some) to Chinese slaves. Move on, nothing to see here."

Since the last couple/three paragraphs should actually form the core of a whole other column, I better move on. Sorry, you know how I get. 

Anyways, Mr. Adams went out of his way to point out, repeatedly, that normally he doesn't even vote and that he wasn't endorsing Trump, or working to get him elected.

This didn't stop the Wokies from doing their best to burn him at the virtual stake. Heretics judged guilty by the Intersectional Inquisition must be silenced lest their sins, real or imagined, corrupt (or worse yet, trigger) the souls of the faithful  

Adams is a trained hypnotist and student of how the mind of the average H. sapien actually works as opposed to how he/she/they believe it works, and, how a person armed with this knowledge goes about persuading humans to do anything from buying a given brand of toothpaste to voting for a given politician.

He made it clear that the reason he thought the Donald would win was that he was the most highly-skilled natural-born persuader Adams had ever come across. 

[But he's such a... Well, you recently called Trump a narcissistic a-hole.]

I did indeed, Dana, and I haven't changed my mind. However, to get a handle on what Adams is talking about you need to have read his blog then, and/or watch his video blog on YouTube now, and/or read his books and/or the books of people he recommends.

The art and science of persuasion is a fascinating and complex subject but the point I wish to make with this particular column is twofold. Mr. Adams doesn't need your money and Mr. Adams is genuinely trying to help.

[You sound like a true fanboy.]

Sorta/kinda. However, for the sake of full disclosure, I have to point out that the Dilbert Dude has an exceptionally healthy ego, does tend to ramble in video blog/podcast (Coffee with Scott Adams), and is not as funny as he thinks he is. 

Also, lately, he's become obsessed with politics and his blog has become an extended group chat with his fans and enemies. He speaks, they type, he reacts, he speaks some more, they type some more, he reacts some more...

I miss his written blog wherein he made his points clearly, logically, and succinctly. Nowadays he performs for his "community." According to the experts, I should also build a community to be successful. 

Oh well, ain't gonna happen. The column stands or falls on its own. All power to the introverts! 

"Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard." -Daphne du Maurier     

 

Mr. Adams still publishes Dilbert seven days a week but nowadays also video blogs seven days a week via Periscope/YouTube. 

[As opposed to an old crank that writes a weekly column?]

Keep it up and I'll start taking my meds again. Poof! you're outta here.

I don't always agree with him. He's become an unrepentant supporter of the Donald; I had to take a shower after I recently voted for the Orange one. But he's never hesitated to criticize Trump and he relentlessly pursues the truth down whatever gopher hole it takes him. 

[Gopher hole?]  

Well, everyone's using the phrase rabbit hole nowadays so I figured that...

Poppa loves you,
Have an OK day

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This Is Embarrassing...

This is a free bonus post. You will not be charged extra.

It looks as if the fact that I accidentally rendered what should've been this weeks post into Tralfamadorian is just the tip of an iceberg of issues. Having spent the better part of last week as a guest of the Tralfamadorians has caused even more problems than I realized.

The guys assured me that their excellent, high speed, WiFi connection was totally secure and that I should feel free to use it and the Chromebook they loaned me to do anything that I would be comfortable doing in my highly fortified lair here in the Ohio mountains.

But now I've got cascading problems because everything I did on their ship was rendered in to Tralfamadorian and I sent out some emails, among other things, written in a language that is used by only a handful of secret scholars that work for the actual powers that be on this planet and the resulting mess is much worse than I realized.

Also, the post in question was a collection of short subjects but I can only remember one of them. You see the Tralfamadorians have, what they claim, is a much more sophisticated version of a Neuralizer, the device the Men In Black used in the movies of the same name to erase memories of people's encounters with the MIB.

I was assured, by no less a person than the Braylyn him or her (it's complicated) self that only stuff they considered to be classified would be blocked out and that any side effects would be negligible. Well, I'm here to tell you, I'm having all sorts of memory issues and as to other side effects, well, don't get me started.

I was left with a customer service number to call in case of problems but when I call the phone is answered by what I can only assume is someone from Tralfamadore's equivalent of a third world Asain country. They speak a language that sounds like squeaks and whistles to my ear and the only thing I can make out is an occasional, "Hello, my name is Sally."

The only topic I can remember is that I wanted to recommend Scott Adam's blog to my tens of gentlereaders.

Now, pointing my limited readership to the blog of one of the world's most successful cartoonists (he's the guy behind Dilbert if you didn't know) might not be the best possible marketing move on my part. I mean, being a successful cartoonist with a strip that's literally published all over the world ought to be enough for anybody.

But no, he also publishes books and writes an interesting blog. But as I clearly state under my Welcome Who Is This Guy Anyway tab, my goal is to provide enlightened infotainment to my gentlereaders. Mr. Adams offers the best explanation I know of for the success of the Donalds current reality TV project, The Republicrat Primary Show

Scott Adams, a trained hypnotist, and both a student and master practitioner of what Dale Carnegie called how to make friends and influence people, uses the Donalds rise to explain and illustrate how to sway the masses primarily via emotional manipulation.

He even provides his readers with the titles of the books that can serve as textbooks if you wish to put your own home study course together.

At this point, I could easily generate several paragraphs, and I think I did, giving you my take on Mr. Adams take but since he does it so well it would be like putting legs on a snake. Instead, permit me to take a shortcut around that potential mountain of bonkercockie and arrive in Bottomlineburgh having saved us both some time and trouble.

As you're probably aware, it's settled science to state that we homo sapiens react to sensory input, of any sort, gut first brain later. This, as far as I know, is my own term, and it's also a deliberate, vast oversimplification on my part that reduces the results of multiple fields of study to a catchphrase.

I'm not embarrassed to go even farther and reduce a catchphrase to an acronym, GFBL. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do in the service of his gentlereaders.

GFBL simply refers to the fact that, on the whole, we react emotionally, instinctually, physically, intuitively, automatically, etc. (this is a measurable phenomenon) before we (hopefully) react rationally and logically.

Mr. Adam's thesis is that the Donald, as well as no shortage of other folks, deliberately employ techniques that take advantage of this knowledge. The only defense we have is to know how it's done and who is doing it. I will be exploring the subject in future posts but Dilbert's creator can easily explain the Donald to you in the meantime.

Have an OK day.


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©2015 Mark Mehlmauer   (The Flyoverland Crank)

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