Plagiarism

If you're new here, this is a weekly column consisting of letters written to my grandchildren (who exist) and my great-grandchildren (who aren't here yet) -- the Stickies -- to haunt them after they become grups and/or I'm dead.

[Blogaramians: Blogarama renders the links in my columns useless. Please click on View original (above↑) to solve the problem/access lotsa columns.]

Irregularly Appearing Imaginary Guest Stars

Marie-Louise -- My beautiful muse (right shoulder) and back scratcher 

Iggy -- My designated Sticky

Dana -- My designated gentlereader (left shoulder)

"If you steal from one author it's plagiarism, if you steal from many it's research." -Wilson Mizner 


Dear (eventual) Stickies & Great-Grandstickies, 

This letter was supposed to be God and Politics (Before I Wake Up Dead, Pt. 6.5). That is to say, since part six did cover God, but didn't cover politics, this letter was supposed to be about politics, which would make it part 6.5.

However, the letter that I wrote about politics is somewhat dark and depressing as the state of politics in the republic is somewhat dark and depressing. I'll publish it next week, which will give me a chance to try and lighten things up a bit. After all, while our political situation is polarization personified, the economic situation has improved. 

Well, perhaps not as much as we in Flyoverland would like, but there are glimmers of hope. The contention of Mr. Obama and his minions, that a pathetic 2% increase in annual GDP is the new normal, may not necessarily be true. Let us pray...or at least hope so.  

I don't want the last letter of the year (a year which has proven not to be one of my better ones) to be dark, so inspired by an article I read the other day, I've opted for plagiarism.  

[Dana: Did you drink some bad eggnog? Marie-Louise: Mon Dieu! Iggy: Anybody know why the first i in plagiarism is silent?] 

Calm down everbody. Long story short(ish), deep breath -- I read an article about Chief Justice John Roberts commencement address at his son's 9th-grade graduation last June (I know, I know, but let's not go there...) that I already knew about, but had forgotten about, that contained the  passages (re)printed below and which prompted me to look up the entire speech, which I found in a different article, whereupon I discovered that the speech also contained the lyrics of a Bob Dylan song, one of the few I actually like, if fact really like, which are also (re)printed below. 

So, in some form or fashion, I'm plagiarizing two articles, a speech, and Bob Dylan lyrics. However, you're worth the legal repercussions.   

The Speech

"...commencement speakers will typically...wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. 

I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. 

Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. 

I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. 

And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. 

I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. 

Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes."

The Lyrics (from "Forever Young")

May God bless you and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
And may you stay forever young

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay forever young

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay forever young

Poppa loves you.
Have an OK day.

[P.S. Gentlereaders, for 25¢ a week, no, seriously, for 25¢ a week you can become a Patron of this weekly column and help to prevent an old crank from running the streets at night in search of cheap thrills and ill-gotten gains.

If there are some readers out there that think my shtuff is worth a buck or three a month, color me honored, and grateful. Regardless, if you like it, could you please share it? There are buttons at the end of every column.]

©2017 Mark Mehlmauer   (The Flyoverland Crank)

If you're reading this on my website (where there are tons of older columns, a glossary, and other goodies) and if you wish to react (way cooler than liking) -- please scroll down.

God and Politics (Before I Wake Up Dead, #6)

If you're new here, this is a weekly column consisting of letters written to my grandchildren (who exist) and my great-grandchildren (who aren't here yet) -- the Stickies -- to haunt them after they become grups and/or I'm dead.

[Blogaramians: Blogarama renders the links in my columns useless. Please click on View original (above↑) to solve the problem/access lotsa columns.]

Irregularly Appearing Imaginary Guest Stars

Marie-Louise -- My sublime, drop-dead gorgeous muse (right shoulder) and back scratcher 

Iggy -- Designated Sticky

Dana -- Designated gentlereader (left shoulder)

"Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy." 

                                                                             -Benjamin Franklin

Dear (eventual) Stickies & Great-Grandstickies,

OK, let's see. Before I officially kicked off this series of columns about things I want to make sure I tell you in case I wake up dead I covered all of the Seven Virtues. Check.

In the last five columns, I've covered meaning, purpose, happiness, contentment, technical and cultural chaos, and soft nationalism. Check.

That leaves God and politics, well almost. Please bear with me while I clear the deck


Global warming is a never-ending RBFD, but I covered that here. As to economics, I've mentioned here, there, and over there that I'm a wild-eyed free marketeer. But last week, in Nationalism, I pointed out that I'm a fan of competitive capitalism (what we should have) and opposed to crony capitalism (what we often do have, frequently with the collusion of Congressional whores). Check.

If you've bothered to read through my old columns it should also be clear that I'm for an intelligently designed safety net. I've mentioned, but not in enough detail (at least not yet), that:

Social Security is a Ponzi scheme. The Gummit is spending the money faster than it comes in while simultaneously borrowing against their no limit credit card -- and you're going to get the bill. Check.

That, the welfare cliff is a dependency trap and a national disgrace. Check.

That, we need a cradle to grave social security system, like Singapore's, that maximizes the power of individuals, minimizes the power of career bureauons, and harnesses the power of free markets for everyone, not just the Cronies and their -- The Gummit -- enablers. Check.

That, Socialism is a seductive dead-end that has only ever worked in Scandinavia. It requires a vibrant private sector to generate the cash and a willingness of everyone to pay high taxes and submit to more rules and (legal and social) regulations than I suspect the average American would be willing to swallow.

That, there ain't enough rich people in the USA to fund the utopian dreams of Bernie and Fauxcahontas. Roughly 1.7 million evil rich people are currently picking up the lion's share (roughly 70%) of the tab for all 325,000,000 of us. (This includes the $22,000,000 the Pentagon gave to a billionaire buddy of Harry Reid to study UFOs.) Check.

And now, on with the show.

God

Follow your heart and act as if God exists regardless of what you believe. This is a no-brainer. Even recovered/recovering drunks and druggies understand this. God, or your "higher power," is simply what you would be like if you were the person you would like to be/should be/wish you were. Strive to be that person and fake it till you make it. Start today.  

Unfortunately -- militant/aggressive atheists, a group that includes some stunningly brilliant people -- understandably, don't understand this. 

They've been kicked in the crotch by life and/or are acutely aware of the fact most of us are nursing tender, damaged crotches. They've noticed that no shortage of crotch kicking has been/is being aided and abetted by organized religions. They take refuge in reason. Applied reason, after all, has led to indoor plumbing (among a few other conveniences).  

I'm not much of a fan of organized religions myself. I don't think we necessarily need a mediator betwixt ourselves and God. 20 minutes of daily meditation, certain books, certain selections of Beethoven and Duke Ellington, and recently, certain videos of Jordan Peterson lectures serve as pathways to transcendence for me. 

Your gonna' have to find your own path.

Big But 

Be wary of well-meaning, big-brained, big-hearted people who are good at creating carefully reasoned heavens on Earth -- on paper. The more verbiage and carefully constructed graphs/equations/statistics/etceterics the better the chance people will wind up dead.

Politics

Hoo-boy. 

I guess there's no way to postpone this any further. I've put it off till last because I'm sick of this subject, a subject that at one time I found fascinating. 

As I understand it (I could be wrong, I'm wrong with disturbing regularity) the idea behind this country was maximum freedom facilitated by minimal government. This is the fastest way for a new country to get rich, and we did. 

Many sins were committed along the way. Two biggies come immediately to mind. Although the vast majority of Native Americans were killed off by disease, genocide was regularly employed to reduce a tiny remnant to a tinier remnant so we could steal their lands. We enslaved as many Africans as we could get our hands on and treated them like high functioning livestock.

We fought a civil war over the latter issue which still holds the record for most Americans killed in any given war. But in short order, the land of the free adopted Jim Crow laws and practices and African-Americans endured nearly a century of a government-sanctioned boot on their necks.

Unfortunately, genocide, slavery, and rigid class systems -- globally and historically speaking -- have been the rule, not the exception. In fact, all three still exist, just a little less so at the moment. However, with a few carefully placed weapons of mass destruction here, an economic collapse over there... well, let's just say our Snowflakes will have much more than global warming to worry about.

[If any of 74% of 16 to 24-year-old Callowyutes in the UK happen to read this and are traumatized by my use of the S-word above, please accept my insincere apologies. Fortunately, you have free healthcare so make sure you sign up for mental health counseling ASAP.]   

Anyways... In spite of ourselves, we've become the richest (and fattest) country the world has ever seen. We elected the African-American son of a single mom to be president, twice. At the moment, a former reality show and fake wrestling star is running the country. The unemployment rate (well, officially anyway) is 4.1% as this is being composed. What a country.

But we all hate each other. Well, not really.

But imagine yourself as an undergrad and gullible anthropology major from the planet Tralfamadore, with dreams of becoming Tralfamadore's leading America expert, and spending your junior year abroad visiting Earth.

Suppose that a doctoral candidate/teaching assistant with a huge chip on its (it's complicated) gidermp (sort of like a shoulder, also complicated) and a vicious sense of humor had conned you into believing that watching cable news channels was an excellent way to understand American Earthlings.

Now, it's common knowledge on Tralfamadore that America, in the course of the last seven or eight decades defeated (with a lot of help, of course) attempts by murderous fascists and then even more murderous communists to take over the world.

It's common knowledge that America specifically, and a good bit (and rising) of the planet in general, have achieved an unprecedented level of prosperity.


Unfortunately...
[Gentlereaders, I know you know what's next. My Dear Stickies, here's hoping that you're still here and/or not living in caves and huts and the like.]

Unfortunately, if our visiting scholar were to immerse itself in an intense study of cable news channels it would in short order try and return home before the second American Civil War breaks out (or Li'l Rocket Man starts lobbing intercontinental anthrax infused water balloons in our direction).

Unfortunately, although this is supposed to be the last installment of the Before I Wake Up Dead series I'm going to have to finish up next week because unfortunately (GRIN) I've gone on too long. And unfortunately, this nerve pill they have me taking in an attempt to treat my spinal stenosis without having surgery renders me sleepy and dizzy and hungry and unmotivated. I need a nap.

It's like smoking weed -- with the euphoria removed (unfortunately). I'll bet The Gummit has something to do with it. Poppa loves you.

 Have an OK day.


[P.S. Gentlereaders, for 25¢ a week, no, seriously, for 25¢ a week you can become a Patron of this weekly column and help to prevent an old crank from running the streets at night in search of cheap thrills and ill-gotten gains.

If there are some readers out there that think my shtuff is worth a buck or three a month, color me honored, and grateful. Regardless, if you like it, could you please share it? There are buttons at the end of every column.]


©2017 Mark Mehlmauer   (The Flyoverland Crank)

If you're reading this on my website (where there are tons of older columns, a glossary, and other goodies) and if you wish to react (way cooler than liking) -- please scroll down.

Nattionalism (Before I Wake Up Dead, Pt. 5)

If you're new here, this is a weekly column consisting of letters written to my grandchildren (who exist) and my great-grandchildren (who aren't here yet) -- the Stickies -- to haunt them after they become grups and/or I'm dead.

[Blogaramians: Blogarama renders the links in my columns useless. Please click on View original (above↑) to solve the problem/access lotsa columns.]

Irregularly Appearing Imaginary Guest Stars

Marie-Louise -- My beautiful muse (right shoulder) and back scratcher 

Iggy -- Designated Sticky

Dana -- Designated gentlereader (left shoulder)

"A good nationalism has to depend on a principle of the common people, on myths of a struggling commonality. " -Andrew O'Hagan

Dear (eventual) Stickies & Great-Grandstickies,

Let's review.

This is part five of a series of columns about what I what I would want to make sure I've told you if I knew that my deletion from meatspace was imminent. The first barely introduced the concept after beginning with some shameless self-promotion of my -- NEW and IMPROVED! -- website.

Parts two and three were about finding meaning and happiness in life and I've noticed they kinda/sorta bleed into each other. That's OK, that's how it works in real life. This finding meaning/happiness/contentment/etceterament shtuff is probably the primary theme you'll find threading through all my letters/columns.

Parts two and three are a combination of distilled shtuff from previous columns combined with a not so secret ingredient -- things I've thought about/learned about/heard about/etceterabout -- since they were originally published. There's another lesson I'd have you learn, inspired by the previous sentence. "Pay attention and you'll learn something new and interesting every day" -me. "Pay attention and speak carefully." -Jordan B. Peterson

Part four was about the effect of the ubiquitous internet on a culture already in distress. It was also supposed to introduce my version of (soft) nationalism but I didn't get that far as once I got going on my Global/Local Paradox theory... well, you know how I get.

Now I'm going to explain what I mean by (soft) nationalism and segue into politics. The Republic is currently saturated with politics and the rain shows no sign of slowing anytime soon. Here's hoping that by the time my great-grandstickies read this we've become obsessed with something else.

Mars would be cool. Man Personkind needs geographic frontiers to nurture heroes and provide clean slates (tablet computers reset to factory defaults?) and geographic cures for the damaged/stumbled/fallen.

Soft Nationalism (and a major digression, right out of the gate...)

I don't know where I first heard the phrase soft nationalism but I knew immediately what it meant to me. More on that in just a sec'. Permit me to dispose of the digression first.

Before I started this letter I went a-googling to discover what others mean when they use this phrase. As I suspected, there's no generally accepted definition. I only bring this up because of a well written, soundly reasoned article I found that was written by someone who is clearly smarter than I.

The bad news is that I was about 3/4s of the way through the article when a rhetorical rattlesnake jumped out from behind a rock and tried to bite me.

Long story short, up until that point the author was talking about various versions of nationalism without staking out a firm position. Suddenly he revealed he was a hardcore nationalist, a Nazi in fact (though he never used that word), and then started beating up on the Jews. I didn't finish.

I did scroll back to the beginning and discovered he was part of some organization that advocates for this, that, and the other for "white Europeans." Yikes! I...

[There's a point here, somewhere, right?]

Yes, Dana, in fact...

Ooooh! thanks, Marie-Louise, that feels great, ahhh...

[Marie-Louise has no time for bigots in general or Nazis in particular. She knows where I'm going and is applying a motivational back scratch as opposed to a back scratch reward. Iggy, who is studying the Nazis in school just now, is actually interested in what I'm on about for a change and following closely.]

Where was I? Oh, yeah, the point. The point, my Dear Stickies is a straightforward riff on my pay attention and you'll learn something new and interesting everyday maxim. You've got to pay close attention to avoid someone slipping something by you. What would I have you learn, Dorothies? Intelligence/sophistication/education/etceteration are often used by evil eejits as camouflage.

And now, finally, King Crank's take on nationalism.

Soft Nationalism

Soft nationalism, as defined by me, is the middle ground betwixt Hard nationalism and no (everyone gets a participation trophy) nationalism. However, discovering and maintaining the golden mean in this, or any other matter, can be complicated. Just ask Goldilocks.  

Wikipedia has an excellent article about nationalism that does a good job of explaining that there are myriad forms of it practiced in myriad ways. A couple of sentences that caught my eye are "Nationalism therefore seeks to preserve the nation's culture. It also involves a sense of pride in the nation's achievements, and is closely linked to the concept of patriotism." Quite, but the devil lives in a comfortable condo in the details. 

Rather than provide a firm definition of King Crank's Soft Nationalism, at least just yet, permit me to beat up on Hard and No nationalism first.

Hard Nationalism

Ethnic cleansing, tribalism taken to its logical extreme, comes immediately to mind.  

We're all tribal to one degree or another, even those that claim they're not. It's a survival/evolutionary phenomenon. The group is much stronger and much more likely to survive and much more likely to replicate than the individual. Millions of years of evolving and clawing our way to the top of the food chain has literally wired this into our brains. 

[If you subscribe to creationism, God did it. The bottom line is the same. Taking out a wooly mammoth or the infidels one valley over takes teamwork.] 

However, like any good tool, it all depends on how you use it. You can use a hammer to rebuild homes damaged or destroyed by one of this year's hurricanes or indulge your inner serial killer and make it your go-to weapon of choice. 

[Construction worker by day, killer by night -- The Hammerer! A Netflix original series.]

Hard nationalism is when one group of kids on the playground gets together and decides to shun/restrict/enslave/kill all the kids that don't belong to their group. Which verb they embrace makes all the difference. There's a lot of variabilities possible betwixt shun and kill.

It comes about from some variation/combination of multiple forces such as perceived threats/resentments/revenge/domination/etceteration.

Regardless, the big-honkin' fly in the ointment is that hard nationalism is like being sentenced to spending your life in seventh grade in a same-sex boarding school. There's us, there's them. Tolerance is for losers.

No Nationalism

No nationalism is, "It's like, all relative, man." All cultures/religions/political systems/morality/lifestyles/economic systems are equally valid. Who are we to judge? And borders? borders are just imaginary lines.  




.Who are we to judge? We are the citizens of the nation states of the planet Earth. Once we're grups we look about us and decide if we're proud of our particular nation-state. What it was, what it is, and what it may become. 

"Nationalism therefore seeks to preserve the nation's culture. It also involves a sense of pride in the nation's achievements, and is closely linked to the concept of patriotism."

Those of us who are lucky enough to live in the relative handful of nations where the government serves at our pleasure can judge out loud without the fear that a Xi Dada, Dear Leader or a -- the Pooteen -- type will disappear us.

This is the aspect of my culture, the American culture, that is most worthy of preserving, the right to bitch and moan. 

But since I grasp that I have to share the playground and since I was properly socialized when I was a young, self-centered primate I understand that all the other high functioning chimps have the right to bitch and moan. I understand that we have to compromise on a set of rules if the game is going to be any fun. Or even if there is going to be a game. 

America's culture, secret of success, and endless threat is that it's a culture of multiple cultures. Multiple cultures and no shortage of wild-eyed individualists in competition brings out the best, and worst, in us. 

Cultural friction can spark new ideas or start fires. We've done amazing things. We've done, and do, terrible things to each other. 

But having been blessed with plenty of room, lots of natural resources, and relative freedom (lots more for some than others, historically speaking) we've somehow managed to build the country that many, if not most, of the lean and hungry and brutalized of the world would sacrifice a body part of lesser importance for a chance to live in. To get their shot. To get fat.

That's my preferred form of nationalism, of American nationalism. 

I believe free trade, lots of carefully vetted immigrants, and competitive capitalism works the best for the most. 

I believe that crony capitalism -- abetted by The Gummit, epitomized by a 70,000 + page tax code, written and maintained by a parliament of whores who are hosting a party for the entire country (and you, my Dear Stickies, are going to get stuck with the bill) -- is what works best for the fewest.

[I know, gentlereaders, that the (alleged) tax reform that's about to pass, will in the short-term boost the economy. As for the long-term -- it will increase the debt, increase spending, grow the tax code and expires in ten years. Can kicking has become as American as apple pie.]  

I also believe in borders and a strong military for the same reason I believe in doors that lock and my local police department. I believe I am a garrulous geezer and politics will have to wait till next week. Poppa loves you. 

 Have an OK day.


[P.S. Gentlereaders, for 25¢ a week, no, seriously, for 25¢ a week you can become a Patron of this weekly column and help to prevent an old crank from running the streets at night in search of cheap thrills and ill-gotten gains.

If there are some readers out there that think my shtuff is worth a buck or three a month, color me honored, and grateful. Regardless, if you like it, could you please share it? There are buttons at the end of every column.]


©2017 Mark Mehlmauer   (The Flyoverland Crank)

If you're reading this on my website (where there are tons of older columns, a glossary, and other goodies) and if you wish to react (way cooler than liking) -- please scroll down.