The Secret of Life (Updated)

Image by elizabethaferry from Pixabay

This is a weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids — the Stickies — eventual selves to advise them and haunt them after they've become grups and/or I'm deleted.  

Trigger Warning: This column rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in debilitating psychological trauma.

About 

Glossary 

Featuring Dana: Hallucination, guest star, and charming literary device  

"Show business is just like high school, except you get paid." -Martin Mull

Dear Stickies and Gentlereaders,

So-called real life, at least in the countries that used to be proud to be identified as products of Western Civilization, is just high school with money (and smartphones), that's all you really need to know.

In fact, modern technology + modern prosperity = perpetual high school (mt + mp = phs).

{But some of the countries in the Eastern Hemisphere and the Global South are also...}  

Yes indeed, but the majority of them are products of radically different cultural traditions than ours which they aren't abandoning as rapidly and enthusiastically as we are. 

{Wait-wait-wait, you've revealed the secret of life, as alleged by you at least, several times over the last hundred years or so, old man. What gives?} 

I haven't written about the subject since my four-month sabbatical last year at a secret Taoist monastery in the Wudang mountains. Like its predecessors, this missive serves as an update to previous versions. 

If technology keeps advancing arm in arm with global prosperity, eventually the entire planet will consist of H. sapiens with psyches equivalent to that of an average American high school student (and many of their elders).

The good news is that with a bit of luck, this will cancel out the ChiCom's effort to destroy Western Civilization via their not-so-secret weapon, TikTok. By the way, I define ChiComs as the current emperor and his minions, not his serfs and slaves.     

{But there's no shortage of countries mired in poverty and primitive technology.}

Sure. But if you adopt a birds-eye view you'll discover that technology and prosperity are spreading at unprecedented rates. At least for now. 

{You're gonna' have to supply links to the data if you want me, the Stickies, or your gentlereaders for that matter, to believe that.}

Well, I'm not going to... but I would if I thought it worth the effort. 

Prosperity has made it possible for more people to access technology. Technology has enabled more people to access the worldwide web of all knowledge. 

But unfortunately, the web, particularly social media — as well as traditional media like TV, print, and radio — is chock-a-block with contradictory knowledge that constitutes the ultimate, international version of a classic debate format familiar to everyone:

Uh-huh! Nuh-uh!

{You've mentioned this uh-huh, nuh-uh thing before too. In fact...} 

I know, but it just keeps getting better and worse. Modern technology has made it possible for everyone to become a publisher, a broad/narrowcaster, a producer/director, a musician/record label, etc. Any moron can claim to be a columnist. Power to the people!  

But nowadays, all sides of any given argument are able to supply links to all sorts of websites and data top-heavy with links to all sorts of other websites and data top-heavy with links... ad infinitum. 

Flame-fanning by traditional media outlets more motivated by financial survival than the search for truth, makes it hard to tell genuine thoughtful, carefully reasoned disagreement from mere partisan infotainment, ideology, gossip, and propaganda.

{Well, that's a spiffy paragraph, but what's it got to do with your notion that real life is high school with money?}

It's an October morning in 1968 and a bunch of bleary-eyed teenagers are seated at a high school cafeteria table waiting for the homeroom bell. Being 1968, there was music in the cafes at night and revolution in the air (HT: B. Dylan).

A vocal minority of Boomers a few years previously, had begun a cultural trend that has since gotten out of hand: all politics all the time. An argument has broken out at the table and an occasional, "It's a fact! You can look it up!" can be heard.  

{I still don't see...}

Well, now you can look it up, but most Uh-huhs! can be easily refuted by a Nun-uh!

Bottom line: All politics, all the time is spreading around the world at light speed. Filtered through social media and exploited by the outrage industrial complex, the result is a virtual version of an endless American high school civics class debate (or a cafeteria kerfuffle).

{Do they still teach civics in high school?}

Later that same day our typical American high school Boomers are eating lunch at their self-segregated cafeteria tables. At the cool girl's tables, top-heavy with salads, cans of diet soda pop, and little else, they're speculating about Debbie. Turns out her family didn't move. Debbie's been moved, to the Saint Mary McGilliddy home for mothers and babes.

At the jock tables, they're congratulating, Bob, a wrestler, as it turns out he won't be dropping out of school and getting married after all. Bob and several of the members of the wrestling team aren't eating, an important match is pending and they need to "make weight." 

When lunch is over a flurry of notes are exchanged that will be delivered by an ad hoc postal system once classes resume.

 

It's an October afternoon in 2022, and at a typical American high school Zoomers are eating lunch at their self-segregated tables. At the cool girl's tables, salads and bottled water are being consumed with one hand, information consumed and disseminated with the other. 

At the jock's tables, members of the wrestling team are working their smartphones with both hands. 

An endless stream of pics, selfies, videos, gossip, trolling, canceling, cyberbullying, tweets, and etcetereets is being generated.

A few girls are pregnant, but nowadays the whole world is becoming a small town wherein everyone can gossip and fret about every-thing that every-one is up to, and can do so anonymously.  

Marshall McCluhann achieved his 15 minutes of fame (H.T. Andy Warhol, fellow Yinzer) when he posited that "the medium is the message." I think that although the mediums keep changing, and do have an impact on the messages, the messages, like human nature, remain fundamentally the same  

Poppa loves you,

Have an OK day

Scroll down to share my work/access oldies. Tip me, or Join Cranky's Coffee Club (and access my condensed History of the World), here.    

Comments? I post links to my columns on Facebook and Twitter so you can love me, hate me, or try to have me canceled on either site.   

   

Sexy Senior Citizens

Image by Anne from Pixabay

This is a weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids — the Stickies — eventual selves to advise them and haunt them after they've become grups and/or I'm deleted.  

Trigger Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in a debilitating meltdown.  

About 

Glossary 

Featuring Dana: Hallucination, guest star, and charming literary device  

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." -George Burns

Dear Stickies and Gentlereaders,

The boilerplate that appears at the top of this column, at least on my website, includes the following statement: Trigger Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in a debilitating meltdown. 

The word intersectional belongs between debilitating and meltdown but by leaving it out I avoid the statement slopping over onto the next line creating an unbalanced looking heading. They call me Mister Symmetrical.  

{Some of them call you Mister Anal and think you're unbalanced. Also, I must point out that given that some people read this column via email, on their phones, or even via ink sprayed on dead trees your obsession with symmetry may be pointless.} 

Well, I must point out that sexy senior citizens (SSCs) understand that my love of symmetry, and the pursuit of same, is merely fidelity to my personal aesthetic inclinations. The point is to know what you like without feeling compelled to justify it to others, but also maintaining a live and let-live attitude... in spite of the fact the world is full of philistines.   

SSCs know that you must remain open to expanding your inclinations and be aware that there are always going to be people who can teach you things, right up to the day you're deleted. Some of them are long dead but have left numerous hints and clues behind.

Not all geezers/geezerettes are SSCs, many are just parodies of their younger selves with wrinkles. Or worse yet, a parody that's had so much "work done" they now look like caricatures of their younger selves.

Note to aging famous (and formerly famous) actors and models, presidents, seriously rich people, upper-class people, and members of the lower-upper class who have the time, inclination, and money to strive to look forever 39 (preferably younger):

Knock yourself out. It's your time, inclination, and money. 

However...

I feel compelled to note that wimmin of all ages who strive mightily to look "hot" while simultaneously decrying the toxic male gaze are considered oxymoronic by some of my fellow (but less sensitive) heterosexual, cisgender males.

And, that many men, of all ages, who strive mightily to look hot or cool via ponytails, patchy facial hair, or the I Only Shave Every Other Day Look often look lukewarm at best.   

Also, the faces (beware of close-ups) of the sort of people of a certain age that go out of their way to display pictures or videos of themselves showing how young and healthy they look often resemble robots with worn plastic faces touched up by makeup artists that work at funeral homes.

{Feel better now?}

I do, Dana. Thanks

{So what exactly is a sexy senior citizen given the title of the article? Remember that? How about a concise definition?}

Can't be done, Dana. That would be like trying to concisely/accurately explain the taste of homemade _______ to an AI-powered android. It will never get it, although it will be able to fool many people into thinking it does... but not a SSC of course. 

The most concise definition I've been able to come up with is that a SSC is an individual of a certain age who manages to remain (reasonably but not too) young at heart but has been around long enough, and is savvy enough, to have accumulated a level of wisdom unlikely to be found in the young of body/brain. 

But advanced chronological age is no guarantee of wisdom. There is indeed no fool like an old fool because if they haven't figured it out by then they are unlikely to ever figure it out, and "it" is somewhat variable and hard to define. 

{Could you be a little more vague?}

I warned you. 

{Fine then, what do you mean by savvy? Smart?}

No, because nowadays most people think of smart as intellectually smart. 

A good mechanic that doesn't read anything besides the local paper and repair manuals, is fundamentally kind (but not necessarily warm and fuzzy), honest (but would never tell their spouse that their new ______ makes their butt look big), and has lived long enough to know there is such a thing as human nature and there isn't such a thing as Utopia (or many other things) is not usually called smart. 

But they're definitely savvy, perhaps even wise, prefer traditional (commonsensical) pronouns, and are just as likely to be of benefit to the world as the average professor with a Ph.D., perhaps more likely. In fact, an excellent janitor who embodies the virtues listed in the previous paragraph is more valuable to the world than a professor who doesn't. 

As I mention in my glossary the term sexy senior citizen doesn't refer to physical attractiveness or how sexually active someone is. It's about a certain difficult-to-define something that can be so subtle that only a fellow SSC may be aware they have it. For the record, SSCs know that modesty and restraint are much sexier than cheap displays. 

They're also aware of the fact that much of who they really are, and what they know, is invisible to younger H. sapiens. This gives them an edge in various situations that the young aren't even aware of.

One of the many compensations for being closer to one's inevitable deletion than the young is being able to gently manipulate them without their knowledge. Luckily for them we're more likely to do this for their own good, or frankly, for our own amusement, than to do evil. 

Fortunately for our fellow H. sapiens and unripened progeny, we (mostly) use our secret superpowers for good. 

Poppa loves you,

Have an OK day

Scroll down to share my work/access oldies. Tip me, or Join Cranky's Coffee Club (and access my condensed History of the World), here.    

Comments? I post links to my columns on Facebook and Twitter so you can love me, hate me, or try to have me canceled on either site. 

 

The American Experiment

 A Quotable Quotes column

Image by Mike Goad from Pixabay 

This is a weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids — the Stickies — eventual selves to advise them and haunt them after they've become grups and/or I'm deleted.  

Trigger Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in a debilitating meltdown.  

About 

Glossary 

Featuring Dana: Hallucination, guest star, and charming literary device  

"I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever." -Brian Celio

Dear Stickies and Gentlereaders,

For a moment there I thought that Sister Mary Mcgillicuddy had deceived me back in seventh grade. 

I was taught that America was the result of, and continues to be, a grand experiment and that this was, and is, a RBF'D.

Turning to Wikipedia first as I often do when looking for information that might be more neutral in tone and content than what might pop up on the world wide web of all knowledge, I typed the words the American experiment into Wikipedia's search box. 

Hoo-boy. 

Wikipedia returned an entry about a high school history textbook. 

How about if I leave off the the, and just go with American experiment? 

The page "American experiment" does not exist. You can create a draft and submit it for review, but consider checking the search results below to see whether the topic is already covered.

Which was followed by a link to the page about the history textbook mentioned above and links to some equally useless entries. Interesting, huh?    

{The the?}

Cool, right? Anyways, I went a-googlin.' No joy till it finally occurred to me to type in: what is the American experiment.

{Well, duh!}

I'm not sure we're allowed to use the word duh anymore. It sounds... triggering?

{Walk on the wild side, Sparky!}

I found a great quote in an editorial published on 11/27/1860 in the New York Daily-Tribune (about the approaching Civil War) that's rather lengthy, but perfect.

We have been regarded as engaged in trying a great experiment, involving not merely the future fate and welfare of this Western continent, but the hopes and prospects of the whole human race. Is it possible for a Government to be permanently maintained without privileged classes, without a standing army, and without either hereditary or self-appointed rulers? Is the democratic principle of equal rights, general suffrage, and government by a majority, capable of being carried into practical operation, and that, too, over a large extent of country?

  

{Without a standing Army? Privileged classes?}

Not now, Dana, I don't want to...

{Wait-wait-wait. What do you think the American experiment is?}

Let's set up a democratic republic to try and avoid the many downsides of pure democracy and see what happens. It hadn't been really tried before, so it was and is an ongoing experiment.  

A lady asked Dr. Franklin Well Doctor what have we got a republic or a monarchy – A republic replied the Doctor if you can keep it. -From the journal of James McHenry 

The establishment of our new Government seemed to be the last great experiment, for promoting human happiness, by reasonable compact, in civil Society. -G. Washington

The question in society is never whether elites shall rule but which elites are going to rule, and the test in a democracy is to get popular consent to worthy elites. -George Will

Let common sense flow from below. -Joel Kotkin

The experiment was launched, and we got lucky. So did the rest of the world, both directly and indirectly.

{How about some details?}

Nope. This isn't the introduction to a history book; the details are readily available. But be careful and circumspect, Wokies are everywhere. Besides, given how quickly the Wokie virus has spread, and how virulent it is, I'm content to hole up here in the Ohio mountains sending out weekly dispatches to my gentlereaders.   

If the epidemic recedes to the point (there have been some positive developments) where I don't fear a book of any sort would put the denizens of Casa de Chaos in danger perhaps I'll compile my best columns and publish them as a book.  

But the next presidential election is "only" a year and a half away so I'm keeping my head down.

{Fine then. How about some more quotes?} 

Absabalutely!

- I personally hold that the classical spirit of challenge and self-discovery is a fundamental human trait. By showing how the risk-taking activity of individuals contributes to social benefits, economics helps societies to accommodate what Augustine called our “restlessness of heart.” This is the better part of our human nature. Societies that suppress this restlessness stagnate and die. The issue of morality in economics is neither the fairness of income distribution nor the stability of financial systems. It is how human institutions can be shaped to correspond to human nature — to man’s nature as an innovator.

-Edmund Phelps, 2006 Nobelist in Economics

{So what's next. Are you cautiously optimistic?}

No.

- The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. -George Will

- We are a pack animal constantly trying to make sure we have high status within the pack; we have a really hard time distinguishing between “having attention” and “deserving attention;” we principally learn by doing and emulation (not by thinking). -Jordan Hall

- We live in a new medieval age, when pseudo-religious “secular-humanist” oligarchs rule, their clericals carry out orders, their scribes record, and their “true believers” genuflect, to promote their self-interests. Hence, Pope Joe, the deep state, the mainstream media... -Judith Thorman

- When highly educated wonks in DC or Manhattan get involved, they often — in their well-credentialed ignorance — pit one of these groups against the others. The least educated are the most despised by the highly educated: working-class men appear to be necessary for Republican fortunes, but they are deemed deplorably unchurched and unworthy of any but the lowest place in the global economy. -Daniel McCarthy

However, my "restlessness of heart" manifests as writing this column and hoping I can help, however insignificantly, to return America to sanity.

Poppa loves you,

Have an OK day

Scroll down to share my work or access oldies. Buy an old crank a coffee? Join Cranky's Coffee Club to read Cranky's History of the World.    

Comments? I post links to my columns on Facebook and Twitter where you can go to love me, hate me, or try to have me canceled.

This Was the Week That Was

The wild week that ended on 7/1/23 

Image by Mark Thomas from Pixabay

This is a weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids — the Stickies — eventual selves to advise them and haunt them after they've become grups and/or I'm deleted.  

Trigger Warning: This column rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in debilitating psychological trauma.  

About 

Glossary 

Featuring Dana: Hallucination, guest star, and charming literary device  

"Whenever you put a man on the Supreme Court he ceases to be your friend."  -Harry Truman                                                                                                                                                  

Dear Stickies and Gentlereaders,

With apologies to the various versions of the TV show from which I stole the title of this column, permit me to say: That was some kinda week, eh? The Supremes, still under fire for pointing out that the Constitution actually has nothing to say about abortion — thus forcing the sorta/kinda united states to decide for themselves — were at it again. 

Now they've ruled against colleges and universities using affirmative action when deciding which credential-seeking students to let into top-rated, wildly overpriced colleges and universities top-heavy with administrators, amenities, and bias response teams.

And if that's not bad enough, they also ruled that Uncle Joe, the head of the party of the little guy, didn't have the power to bypass Congress and permit us all to share in the joy of providing student loan relief for students who majored in Critical Pottery theory and the like, and all those bartenders and baristas with Master of Fine Arts degrees.     

{Speaking of abortion, I've got an idea! What if Congress were to pass a law regulating abortion, a compromise (say 15 weeks?) that will satisfy neither side but allow those of us caught in the middle, and the entire nation for that matter, to move on?}  

Actually, that was my idea but since we're... never mind. But there are all sorts of rabid people on both sides that will...

{Yes, there are, and yes, they will. Let 'em march and protest and boycott and decry and submit legislation till their bums fall off. After all, this is a democratic republic. If you want me, I'll be in the bar. There's a really cute new bartender working there.} 

The Supremes also ruled that anyone who self-identifies as LGBTQQIP2SA+ can't force someone who doesn't identify with any of those letters, a number, and a plus sign to provide various and sundry services. 

{You love getting a chance to use the phrase various and sundry, don't you? I think ya got too many letters there, Sparky.}

Well, let's see. lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, queer, questioning, intersexual, pansexual, two-spirit, asexual, plus a marginalized minority to be named later. Nope, I'm good. I thought you went to the bar?

{Not open yet. What about furries?, why isn't there an F? Are you a furry phobe?}

Not me, some of my best friends are furries. 

I've emailed a friend of mine, my go-to person for this sort of thing, who works at the headquarters of the IUPPPP&PVTTOT about that very thing but I haven't received a reply. I'm guessing they're covered by the +, as are all sorts of folx we're likely to eventually hear about. 

{IUPP... etc?} 

I've mentioned them once or twice, but it's been a minute. International Union of Perpetually Protesting Protestors and Perpetual Victims of This, That, and the Other Thing. It's a nonprofit that likes to keep a low profile and concentrate on raising money and providing services for all of its many nonprofit member organizations, making sure all the paperwork and permits are up to date and all potentially applicable taxes are legally avoided.     

However, unlike the endless wailing, teeth gnashing, and garment rending that's occurred, and continues, over the repeal of Roe v. Wade things have settled down relatively quickly. 

I'm sure there are any number of plausible reasons I could promulgate as to why but my official, Crank-sanctioned reason is that summer is upon us. It's being widely reported that Normies are taking vacations in record numbers. I think they're putting the perpetual crises promoted by the purple press and social media on hold as best they can, and stocking up on sunscreen.

Multiple polls have been conducted (of course)... 

{By various and sundry polling organizations?}

But I double-dog dare you to read any article that reports on the results of more than one particular poll and claim that you feel confident about the mood of the American people. I'm starting to think all the news is fake.     

As best I can tell we seem to be about evenly split on student loans and forcing businesses to accept work from folx whose lifestyles they don't condone. It looks like a clear majority of us think it's time to end applying affirmative action when deciding on who's worthy of attending the sort of schools mentioned above. 

But given that some of our elite educational institutions have recently declared that there's more than one way to skin a Supreme Court ruling if you're clever/devious enough, this controversy, like the one around abortion, will never go away. 

The Supremes made another ruling that for some mysterious reason didn't get much publicity. Evangelical Christian Gerald Groff quit working for the USPS back in 2019 because the Fedrl Gummit refused to give him Sundays off to observe the sabbath because they wanted him to deliver packages — for Amazon. 

   

He's been battling the Post Office in various and sundry courts ever since to get them to change the rules in what turns out to be a very complicated case. Unfortunately for Mr. Groff, all he "won" was his case being kicked back down the road to a lower court. Follow the link for details. 

The USPS has vowed to keep on fighting this right-wing kook till balance is restored in the Force with the help of your money. 

Poppa loves you,

Have an OK day

Scroll down to share my work/access oldies. Tip me, or Join Cranky's Coffee Club (and access my condensed History of the World), here.    

Comments? I post links to my columns on Facebook and Twitter so you love me, hate me, or try to have me canceled on either site. Cranky don't tweet.   

 

        

Critical Theory

Critical Theory vs. critical thinking

Cheat Sheet No. 2.

Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

This is a weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids — the Stickies — eventual selves to advise them and haunt them after they've become grups and/or I'm deleted.  

Trigger Warning: This column rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in debilitating psychological trauma.  

About 

Glossary 

Featuring Dana: Hallucination, guest star, and charming literary device  

"People of various and sundry hues claiming that all people of pallor are racists born with unearned privilege is pure, unadulterated bonkercockie." -Me 

From Cheat Sheet No. 1: Cheat Sheets are a sort of distillation of all the stuff I would like to mention, or reiterate, to the Stickies and my daughter and son-in-law in the event of my sudden demise.

(I'm turning 70 this year.)

Hopefully, this will provide some life guidance and provide comfort for their devastated hearts (and for the lack of cash left on the table).

Dear Stickies and Gentlereaders,

To explain, in my semi-humble opinion, what Critical Theory is, I would first explore what critical thinking is.

Long story short (this is a cheat sheet after all) critical thinking is one of the hoogely important reasons that I, and hopefully you, find myself living in one of the unbelievably prosperous and reasonably free countries that are the products of Western Civilization.

Nowadays, the term Western Civilization has been demoted by many to merely Western culture. For reasons of political correctness, it's no longer cool in certain circles to espouse that despite its flaws it's the best H. sapiens have done so far. 

To think critically means to use logic and reason to try and get to the bottom of something while setting aside, at least as much as possible, emotion. To think like a good scientist for example. To seek out, continuously, what is objectively true (enough) to be of use to almost everyone. 

{Continuously? True (enough)? Almost everyone?} 

The writer finds a way to cleverly dodge the endless bonkercocky devoted to debating whether anything is actually objectively true, Dana, whether there's such a thing as settled science, or whether it's possible for a human being to ever completely set aside emotion (it ain't, trust me).

Suffice it to say, to a practical, pragmatic, and well-adjusted adult, true enough will suffice till the next paradigm-busting breakthrough comes along. Please google the terms Scientific Revolution and Age of Enlightenment for edification and clarification. 

The only thing Critical Theory has in common with critical thinking is the word critical. Critical thinking aims to figure out what something is, how it works, how it got that way, etc. Equipped with this information, and by adding a dash of evolved tradition and a pinch of what we've learned the hard way (history), you can then try to figure out what to do with this knowledge. 

Used more or (often) less wisely, and with a bit of luck, flawed, imperfect H. sapiens have managed to construct the most advanced civilization the planet Earth has seen so far, assuming of course you think prosperity and freedom are good things. 

Critical Theory, on the other hand, is the opposite approach. Choose a desired result, Utopia, and then set aside human nature, what's realistically possible, the law of unintended consequences, history, etc. — and then get to work. 

The first step is to destroy the existing traditions and institutions that stand in the way of establishing heaven on Earth. This ain't easy since, as Karl Marx warned us, many people are so dumb they don't realize they're somebody's victim and need to wake up (be awokened?).     

Critical theory is that kid you knew in high school that never got tired of saying, "Real communism has like, never really been tried." 

What can an intelligent, highly-educated (and embarrassed) Marxist do in the 1930s when it's been revealed that the Russian revolution has unleashed a bloodthirsty ideological monster that will murder, give or take, 100,000,000 counter-revolutionaries by the time the world is partying 'cause it's 1999? 

And worse yet, for some mysterious reason, the world's oppressed masses, due to their false consciousness... 

⯿⯿⯿

("False consciousness denotes people’s inability to recognize inequality, oppression, and exploitation in a capitalist society..." -Encyclopaedia Britannica) 

...have declined an invitation to the party and aren't burning down the house, and everything else, as foretold by St. Karl?

A group of professors (the "Frankfurt School") in Germany, and others, coalesced around Critical Theory. Still Marxism, but New and Improved! They weren't about continuously, often painfully, seeking out the Good, the True, and the Beautiful (a preoccupation of many a critical thinker).   

From Wikipedia:  

"A critical theory is any approach to social philosophy that focuses on society and culture to attempt to reveal, critique, and challenge power structures." (My emphasis.) Max Horkheimer said that Critical theory seeks "to liberate human beings from the circumstances that enslave them."

In other words: Western Civilization isn't the result of thousands of years of groping around in the dark, trying to find the best possible way to live, given that we're flawed by nature and Utopia is impossible. It's merely how people that conducted/conduct their lives accordingly have enslaved everyone that doesn't. 

But killing the nay-sayers, starting from scratch, and organizing one, big, happy commune wherein everyone shared everything equally didn't work out very well in Russia.

Plan B? Figuratively burning it down by revolutionizing the institutions one at a time. The professors who invented the Frankfurt school fled Germany to avoid being killed by the Nazis and landed on U.S. college campuses. 

{Did they say thanks?}

The virus slowly but steadily spread from there, eventually bonded with postmodernism, and is now an epidemic. Everyone can "self-identify" as whatever they please, truth is whatever anyone says it is, and the de facto motto of many in the West is: If it feels good, do it.   

Bottom line: Wokies genuinely believe that there are only two kinds of people in the world, the oppressors and the oppressed, and that the tenets and traditions of so-called Western Civilization are merely a paradigm devised by Caucasian males to exploit everyone else. 

Wokies genuinely believe that if you don't accept this you're asleep and thus not worth debating much less being allowed to freely state your heretical views. Confess your sins or be canceled.

Poppa loves you,

Have an OK day

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Implicit Bias and Systemic Racism

Image by Peter Wolf from Pixabay 

This is a weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids — the Stickies — eventual selves to advise them and haunt them after they've become grups and/or I'm deleted.  

Trigger Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in a debilitating meltdown. 

About 

Glossary 

Featuring Dana: Hallucination, guest star, and charming literary device  

"Can we all just get along?" -Rodney King

Dear Stickies and Gentlereaders,

Early in 1985 me and wild-eyed Walter were doing reconnaissance deep in the heart of Texas. Our mission was to find a home for some ice cream trucks owned by Tom and Miss Kitty, former residents of a rapidly rusting Cincinnati, Ohio.

Tom and Miss Kitty got out of Dodge after most of the local players in heavy industry had done the same and took a lot of jobs with them. They drove their herd of ice cream trucks in a direction that would've seemed counterintuitive to a cowboy and put them to work on the streets of Laredo Austin.

They had more trucks than they needed to serve the good people of Austin and this is why wild-eyed Walter and I were driving from town to town in ice cream trucks in the deep south of the Deep South, South Texas. 

We were exploring south of San Antonio and north of Mexico. The population stats of lots of small towns, and one large one, indicated there were a lot of people down there who just might be in need of an ice cream truck.  

There was/is a lot of mostly empty space between those towns. If you've never been to Texas it's hard to appreciate just how hooge it actually is, even at the narrow end near the Mexican border. 

But Tom and Miss Kitty figgered, sorry, figured, that given that there were a lot of folks down there, and given the fact their winters were often radically different from those experienced by the people that lived at the opposite end of the state, the Texas Panhandle — palm trees as opposed to occasional Blue Norther — there might be some money to be made.

{What's a Blue Norther?} 

It's even colder than it sounds... follow the link.

 

The one large town, Corpus Christi (our first stop) already had a herd of ice cream trucks, so we reluctantly saddled up and hit the trail.

{Reluctantly?}

It's a beautiful party town on the Gulf of Mexico and I was a much younger, completely unattached man at the time pursuing a geographic cure for a broken heart that I had picked up in Pittsburgh.

Now, as you might expect, given the fact that Southern Texas borders Mexico and that all of Texas was once part of Mexico, there are a lot of Latinxers living there. 

{The plural of Latinx is Latinxs, there's no such word as Latinxers.}

Wait a sec', I'll be right back...

Hmmm... from what I can tell, Dana, most Latinos, Latinas, and/or Hispanics think there's no such word as Latinx.

{Could we move on, please?}

Yep. Alls I know is that when I found myself attempting to pedal my popsicles in neighborhoods top-heavy with children that were apparently... 

All I know is that in certain neighborhoods a lot of kids who struck me (of course I could be wrong) as being of a certain heritage came up to my truck and spoke to me in Spanish. 

Having studied Spanish for two years in high school I shrugged and replied, "No hablo Espanol," reasonably confident that these 3 of the 6 or so Spanish words I remembered expressed that I didn't speak Spanish. 

I may have been wrong though because many of them laughed and walked away. Sometimes they threw rocks at my truck whereupon I got outta Dodge. Wild-eyed Walter was temporarily arrested in a small town by a cop he thought might be of a certain heritage for peddling popsicles without a permit but he was released when the evening shift, both officers, reported for duty.

I suspect we may have been the victims of implicit bias, but such is life. We honestly weren't that surprised, all things considered, especially history.

{Next, you'll be claiming you were a victim of systemic racism.} 

  

Nope, no such thing. Scientists say race is a social construct, and I agree. 

Everyone knows Adam and Eve were Africans but we're all mongrels who tend to identify/bond with groups that we share physical/cultural/etceterological characteristics because H. sapiens are tribal (a survival mechanism) by nature.

Systemic Implicit Bias is everywhere but we can closely monitor it in ourselves and strive for objectivity because we can't prevent it or get rid of it, nor should we want to. Survival mechanisms can come in handy.

After all, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you." -Joseph Heller, Catch-22 

But on the other hand, they might not be, it might be you. 

{But what about all the fuss about systemic racism?}

Follow the money. There are literally thousands of people earning their daily bread, some of 'em caviar, working in an industry that didn't exist a minute ago. 

Have they accomplished anything besides personal job security, the occasional financial scandal, and guilt relief for the upper classes that send their kids to private schools and have abandoned the poorest kids of all colors to the powerful teacher's unions of crumbling and corrupt urban hellscapes?

Just askin'.  

Poppa loves you,

Have an OK day

P.S. Free bonus quote: "When I'm no longer rapping, I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dog." -Snoop Dog

Scroll down to share my work/access oldies. Tip me, or Join Cranky's Coffee Club (and access my condensed History of the World), here.    

Comments? I post links to my columns on Facebook and Twitter so you love me, hate me, or try to have me canceled on either site. Cranky don't tweet.