Challenge Trials

Challenge trials?

                                      Image by Bob Dmyt from Pixabay

This is: A weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids and my great-grandkids — the Stickies — to advise them and haunt them after they become grups or I'm deleted.

Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — A Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in a debilitating intersectional triggering. Viewing with a tablet or a monitor is highly recommended for maximum enjoyment.

Please Note: If ya click on an Amazon ad, thus opening a portal to Amazon, and buy anything, Lord Jeffrey will toss a few pence in my direction and you won't have to feel guilty about enjoying my work — well, hopefully — for free. Win/Win.  

About 

Glossary 

Erratically Appearing Hallucinatory Guest Star: Dana — A Gentlerreader

"You learn something new every day if you pay attention." -Ray LeBlond

Dear (eventual) Grandstickies and Great-Grandstickies (and Gentlereaders),

[Challenge trials?]

Exactly, Dana. What are challenge trials? 

My first thought was that challenge trials might be the name for a new revenue stream developed by America's beloved and revered ambulance-chasing litigators. Lawsuits filed over the resulting damage — physical, mental, and property — from zany Zoomers carrying out "challenges" posted by other zany Zommers on TikTok.   

TikTok, if you're unaware, is a social media platform imported from the same country that exports fentanyl precursor chemicals and popular consumer goods manufactured by slaves and distributed by some of America's largest corporations. 

Hint: The Wuhan Flu is probably their most well-known export and they're currently imprisoning citizens of Hong Kong for perpetrating democracy. But I digress.  

[It's what you do. What's a Zoomer?]

Generation Z, H. sapiens born after about 1995 or so. Anyways... As oft happens, with depressing regularity in fact, I was wrong.

[Oft?]      

However, I recently stumbled on this article on the FEE (Foundation for Economic Education) website.

[You're a wild man.]

There was a time... The title of the article is We Had the Vaccine From the Start — You Just Weren't Allowed to Take It. Intrigued, I read the article and I now know what challenge trials are although I, a current events junkie, am loath to admit I didn't know. 

[Loath?]

"Human challenge trials deliberately expose participants to infection, in order to study diseases and test vaccines or treatments."

This is a quote from the website of 1Day Sooner.

We Advocate on Behalf of Covid-19 Challenge Trial Volunteers

More about them anon. First, I'd like to discuss the FEE article.

From the article: "The vaccine, a triumph of medical science known as mRNA-1273, was designed in a single weekend, just two days after Chinese researchers published the virus's genetic code on January 11, 2020" (my emphasises).

[Emphasises?]

The term challenge trials simply refers to a process wherein a handful of volunteers is given a bug and a vaccine and if they don't get sick from the bug, the vaccine's side effects, or become the catalyst of a zombie apocalypse, the process is repeated with ever larger groups of volunteers until (and if) we have a winner. 

[Isn't that the same thing as the clinical trials that were done?]  

Sorta/kinda.

Normally, getting a vaccine, or any new drug approved by the FDA, takes many years and billions of bucks.  

[Big Pharma is evil!]

Big Pharma, the relevant regulators of The Fedrl Gummit, and our Parliament of Whores constitute a codependent cabal that cranks out cutting edge but wildly overpriced medications and medical devices of all sorts. But that would require a book, and someone smarter and more energetic than I, to explore properly.

Suffice it to say that in the case of the vaccines that have been developed for combatting the Wuhan Flu, thanks to a soon to be former president — who, unfortunately, then lost his freakin' mind! — money, resources, and personnel flowed freely, and clinical trials were radically truncated.

However, a Challenge trial, as the article in FEE points out, is when a group volunteers to be guinea pigs as soon as a drug is available, truncating the process even further, a methodology rarely used, but not unheard of.

Philip Steele's article in FEE estimates that we could've had a vaccine ready to roll by March or April of last year and saved many thousands of lives.

[Who would be crazy enough to volunteer to...]

This brings us back to 1Day Sooner.

1Day Sooner (a vaccine available one day sooner would save _______ lives) is a non-profit that has signed up nearly 40,000 volunteers ready to participate in Challenge Trials to speed up the development of a COVID-19 vaccine.

[Um... Don't we now have a vaccine?]

Yup, but one can still donate to "...help cover the salary of 1Day Sooner's five full-time employees...along with several part-time contractors...".

And, they'd "like to hire someone to work on pandemic preparedness advocacy to promote the use of human challenge trials for future pandemics, as well as a Director of Research Participant Representation, who can work to build volunteer interest and capacity to get engaged with other studies would be useful for the longer-term goals of our organization."

[I dunno, man. This sounds like...]

Yes, it does. However, they're incorporated in Delaware as a non-profit and as far as I can tell are a perfectly legal operation. As to how effective they actually are... Well, I don't have the resources to find out, I had to lay off my private detective.

Regardless, there have been news stories, so I'm hoping there actually are better than 38,000 volunteers who've signed up to serve their fellow H. sapiens.

[Did...]

No, I didn't.

Poppa loves you,

Have an OK day

P.S. Update from a newer FEE article: “The FDA needs to stop playing games and authorize the Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccine. It’s safe, cheap ($2-$3 a dose), and is the easiest vaccine to distribute,” says Dr. Marty Makary, a professor of surgery and health policy at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. “It does not require freezing and is already approved and being administered in the United Kingdom.”

Your humble correspondent has verified that the United Kingdom is not experiencing a zombie apocalypse and that the volunteers of 1Day Sooner are still available. 

[Has anybody told Uncle Joe?]

Share this column, give me a thumb (up or in my eye), and/or access older columns below. If my work pleases you you can buy me some cheap coffee with PayPal or plastic.

If you do your Amazon shopping by using one of my Amazon ads as a portal to access Amazon, Lord Jeffrey will toss me a few pence if you buy anything.    

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Can You Hear Me Now?

A random randomnesses column

                                      Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

This is: A weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids and my great-grandkids — the Stickies — to advise them and haunt them after they become grups or I'm deleted.

Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — A Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in a debilitating intersectional triggering. Viewing with a tablet or a monitor is highly recommended for maximum enjoyment.

Please Note: If ya click on an Amazon ad, thus opening a portal to Amazon, and buy anything, Lord Jeffrey will toss a few pence in my direction and you won't have to feel guilty about enjoying my work — well, hopefully — for free. Win/Win.  

About 

Glossary 

Erratically Appearing Hallucinatory Guest Star: Dana — A Gentlerreader

"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk." -Rita Rudner

Dear (eventual) Grandstickies and Great-Grandstickies (and Gentlereaders),

Since delaying the Stickies access to smart(?)phones any longer was becoming impractical, and,

Since my hardworking daughter needs a cutting edge smartphone for her job, and, 

Since my family wanted their beloved Pasty Patriarch to start carrying a smart enough phone since crises, major and minor, randomly occurring to geezers of a certain age are not unheard of, well...

My daughter went to a local Verizon outlet a few years back and came home with a bunch of phones.

A few years go by and Verizon's been the beneficiary of a not inconsiderable chunk of our change. A few months ago my daughter revisited the same outlet, dealt with the same clerk, a.k.a. the kid, and revamped our personal communications system. A reduction in monthly outgo was achieved and we were (momentarily) delighted.

However, she made the mistake of arranging for the automatic monthly payment to be deducted directly from my checking account for logistical reasons. Our finances are mingled and it was the logical thing to do at the time. 

[Mistake?]

HOOGE mistake, Dana. Deep breath... 

The store closes temporarily due to plague problems, the kid moves on, and since the phones are in my daughter's name they won't/can't take money out of my checking account even though the kid said they would, their website says they are, my bank says they're not, and endless hours are spent on the phone to their support people who say they will, but they don't, and eventually say they can't, but, we owe them all sorts of penalty fees and the new deal is canceled, so we also owe them the difference between the old price and the new one and going forward we have to pay the old price, and...

[You're making this up, right? This is one of your goofy "literary devices".]

 

Nope. But suffice it to say that we're now happy T-mobile customers, saving a small fortune on our phone bill, and Verizon can kiss my SIM card.

I'll leave my gentlereaders to draw their own conclusions. 

"The problem isn’t Trump, or Joe Biden, or Kamala Harris, or any other politician: It is the popular response to the gut-wrenching realization that America is hollowed out, that it is living on borrowed money (which is to say borrowed time)..." 

"Americans are frightened for their future, with good reason. They see enormous rewards accrue to a handful of tech companies, and stagnation and decay in large parts of the rest of the country. Donald Trump gave them a frisson of hope, and the Establishment reaction against Trump confirms the popular suspicion that a malevolent global elite has seized control of their country. Trump shamefully exploited this suspicion to direct a popular storm against the Congress." (My emphasis.)

The two quotes above are from a column written by a gentleperson you may, but likely haven't heard of, named David P. Goldman. Mr. Goldman, a.k.a. Spengler, wrote this particular column for PJ Media, an online conglomeration of right-wing takes on politics and news. Mr. Goldman's work, unlike your humble correspondents, is published by all sorts of people.  

Mr. Goldman is a polymath who has had success in multiple jobs. Wikipedia describes him as, "...an American economist, music critic, and author, best known for his series of online essays in the Asia Times under the pseudonym Spengler.

Mr. G., like me, is not a Never Trumper and has voiced support for some of the Donald's efforts, but is hardly a fanboy.  

Mr. G., unlike me, can use words like frisson with a straight face being slightly more intelligent, sophisticated, and cosmopolitan than I am. 

[Slightly? You thought frisson meant sliver, as in a sliver of hope. It means...]   

Yeah, yeah. I now know it means a brief moment of emotional excitement, at least according to Merriam-Webster.

[And everyone else. Why are you extensively quoting from a David P. Goldman column anyway?] 

Because if one ignores the elephant in the room one will, inevitably, wind up shoveling elephant excrement. 

Mr. Goldman's thoughts about the events of 1/6/20 are the same as mine. Since I'm sick of the Donald, the "Resistance," and the endless, often self-serving and deliberately inflammatory coverage of the Purple Press I've borrowed a cup of words to avoid spending any more energy than absolutely necessary on this subject just now. I hope he doesn't mind. 

Ever feel like you're the last person on Earth who doesn't give a damn what a given Hollywood celebrity thinks about a given issue or politician? Considering what a mess so many of them seem to make of their lives (multiple marriages and drug/alcohol abuse come immediately to mind) why does anyone care?

Why are people that wear their virtue on their sleeves, decry "toxic masculinity" and declare their allegiance to the Me Too movement but are perfectly willing to get naked for softcore porn scenes in movies taken seriously?

[Porn!?! You unsophisticated philistine, the woke ones only participate in pseudo sex if it's an essential element of a realistic plot.]

So in the real world, seeing other people having sex is no more unusual than say, um, sharing a meal with them? 

[You just don't understand.]

You're right.

Poppa loves you,
Have an OK day

Share this column, give me a thumb (up or in my eye), and/or access older columns below. If my work pleases you you can buy me some cheap coffee with PayPal or plastic.

If you do your Amazon shopping by using one of my Amazon ads as a portal to access Amazon, Lord Jeffrey will toss me a few pence if you buy anything.    

Feel free to comment/like/follow/cancel/troll me on Cranky's Facebook page.

Cranky don't tweet.

  

  

 

 

I'll Self Identify as Whatever You Need

...If the price is right

Image by Sabrina Young from Pixabay 

This is: A weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids and my great-grandkids — the Stickies — to advise them and haunt them after they become grups or I'm deleted.

Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — A Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in a debilitating intersectional triggering. Viewing with a tablet or a monitor is highly recommended for maximum enjoyment.

Please Note: If ya click on an Amazon ad, thus opening a portal to Amazon, and buy anything, Lord Jeffrey will toss a few pence in my direction and you won't have to feel guilty about enjoying my work — well, hopefully — for free. Win/Win.  

About 

Glossary 

Erratically Appearing Hallucinatory Guest Star: Dana — A Gentlerreader

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde

Dear (eventual) Grandstickies and Great-Grandstickies (and Gentlereaders),

Now that there will soon be a man person sitting behind the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office who has made a career self-identifying as whatever version of a  Depublican was needed to avoid working in the real world for almost fifty years, the thriving diversity industry will continue to do so for at least the next four years. 

I'd like to get a piece of the action. 

[You're assuming the Donald hasn't planted a bomb in that desk.]

Dana, please! Uncle Joe will heal the Republic... and the checks are in the mail. 

I've been thinking about starting a cult for years. There's good money to be made by an imaginative entrepreneur in the pseudo-religion business. However, there are significant downsides.

I assure myself that mine would be a gentle cult and that for a reasonable profit I would provide good, if somewhat vague, guidance to my flock. But then I think of the potential psychological damage that might result to my sheep if I were to be unmasked. 

And what if it turned out I was so good at my job that drop-dead gorgeous women — who under normal circumstances would normally be indifferent to me at best, repulsed at worst — were offering themselves to me on a plate?

Would my ethics triumph over my toxic masculinity?   

I'll wager there's a small but quite active circle of Hell reserved not only for cult leaders that were in it for the money and/or the power but also the ones that succumbed to temptation. A typical testosterone poisoned dude can rationalize almost any behavior.  

As for the crazy ones that actually believe their own shtick... Well, I'm content to leave it to God to sort them out. 

[Ahem. Isn't this supposed to be about you securing a foothold in the diversity industry?]

A valid point, Dana, thanks. I'm just excited. Perhaps I've found a way to relieve the financial pressure that my underfunded retirement is occasionally subject to — while doing as little actual/useful work as possible. 

Robin DiAngelo, "...is an American author, consultant, and facilitator working in the fields of critical discourse analysis and whiteness studies" according to Wikipedia.

"An expert is a B.S. artist at least 50 miles from home." -Edward John Mehlmauer, Jr. (my dad)

Ms. DiAngelo, professional white person, and bestselling author of White Fragility, Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, is my hero. 

Last year she was paid $12,000 plus expenses by the University of Kentucky for a two-hour "Racial Justice Keynote and breakout session." 

I would've done it for $3,000/hr. and expenses. That's only fair because I don't have a Ph.D. in multicultural education and I'm not the author of anything remotely resembling her undoubtedly brilliant dissertation, "Whiteness in racial dialog: a discourse analysis." 

She also led a three-day workshop last year wherein four dozen administrators from the University of Connecticut studied anti-racism and picked up a cool 20k. 

 

Not having a Ph.D. in any field, not even an honorary one (although I am an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church) I thought there was no way I might have a chance to do my part to expose the systemic racism that runs amok in our benighted republic. 

BIG BUT...

The nation is hip-deep in Wokies and faux-Wokies.  

The Fedrl Gummit has been handing out grants and student loans like (expensive) candy for decades as globe-straddling corporations were simultaneously shifting manufacturing to all sorts of historically impoverished countries who thought they might enjoy air conditioning, bacon-cheeseburgers, and antibiotics as much as we do.

Traditionally, free-market economic policies have led to larger pies, and larger slices, for everyone. But nowadays no shortage of Deplorables are being served ever-smaller slices.

An ever-increasing bunch of woke college grads with less than world-class educations have taken on whatever work they can get and have declared their solidarity with the multitude of approved victim groups ranked by their alleged level of suffering (no Deplorables need apply).

The aforementioned globe-straddling corporations, instead of trying to figure out a way of balancing the needs of their fellow Citizens of the Republic against the need to turn a fair profit have become faux-Wokies because they're under attack from within and without by vociferous real Wokies. 

Solution? Pretend to be just woke enough to keep the money flowing (while renting Chinese slave labor) without alienating too many normal people and hope the Wokies gradually self-destruct or are marginalized. 

In the meantime, pledge to pursue diversity from the mailroom to the boardroom. 

As I've mentioned before, I occasionally find myself self-identifying as a beautiful African-American lesbian woman named Coco.

[Ooo-kay, I see what you're up to.]

Boards of Directors are notoriously top-heavy with Pasty Patriarchs. 

While I admit that my qualifications are somewhat thin, what I lack in experience is more than made up for by my willingness to say and do as I'm told — if the price is right. 

I'm also flexible. I'm willing to tweak my persona to meet HRs or a Chief Diversity Officers' specifications and dress the part. Hell, I'm willing to be the CDO — if the price is right.   

Any interested party should please contact me at: theflyoverlandcrank@gmail.com. 

Poppa loves you,
Have an OK day

[Hold it right there, Sparky. You have nothing to say about the riot at the Capital in the capital?]

Mercutio's famous line, A plague on both your houses! by which I mean both

Republicrats and Depublicans, springs immediately to mind.

On Wednesday, 1/6/20, Donald J.Trump spent about 75 minutes working a crowd into a lather. At the very end of his speech he said, "So we're (that's we are) going to walk down Pennsylvania Avenue... we're (that's we are) going to the Capital...", 

Followed by, "So let's (that's let us) walk down Pennsylvania Avenue." Followed by a few sentences of thank you, etc. 

He then went to the White House and watched the insanity unfold on TV. I hope he resigns, it's what a gentleperson would do. 

I'll probably have more to say next week. I'm going to wait and see how the left-wing backlash plays out. Facebook and Twitter, for example, are busy canceling conservatives of all stripes even as I write.    

Share this column, give me a thumb (up or in my eye), and/or access older columns below. If my work pleases you you can buy me some cheap coffee with PayPal or plastic.

If you do your Amazon shopping by using one of my Amazon ads as a portal to access Amazon, Lord Jeffrey will toss me a few pence if you buy anything.    

Feel free to comment/like/follow/cancel/troll me on Cranky's Facebook page.

Cranky don't tweet.