Afghanistan

Image by andreas N from Pixabay

This is: A weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids — the Stickies — eventual selves to advise them and haunt them after they've become grups and/or I'm deleted.   

Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in an intersectional meltdown. Intended for H. sapiens who are — in the words of the late, great bon vivant, polymath, and pic-a-nic basket expert, Professor Y. Bear — "Smarter than the av-er-age bear." 

About

Glossary 

Erratically Appearing Hallucinatory Guest Star: Dana — A Gentlereader  

"I don't think the Taliban will ever come back to take Afghanistan, no. 

                                                                                              -Hamid Karzai

Dear (eventual) Grandstickies and Great-Grandstickies (and Gentlereaders),

Not long ago Uncle Joe blew his lifeguard whistle and ordered Americans out of the pool, so to speak, in Afghanistan. You may have heard something about the fact it didn't go very well. Some of our swimmers are still trapped there even though the pool's closed.  

{Afghanistan is so, like, yesterday's news.} 

True dat, Dana. 

Rather like the latest social media kerfuffle — featuring a whistleblower testifying at a Senate hearing — that's apparently already in the rearview mirror of my favorite high tech Robber Baron, Lord Zuckerberg. 

And more importantly, is Dog the Bounty Hunter is still trying to catch Brian Laundrie? 

So, what's up with all those American citizens... and green card holders... and deceived Afghans... who missed the last bus out of the graveyard of empires (GOE)?

How did such an important story fall off the radar screen of the American media faster than a UFO? On a related note, whatever happened to the people we locked up at Gitmo and didn't torture, merely interrogated in an enhanced sort of way? 

Gitmo has been a thing, well, off and on, for as long as Afghanistan. It was established about the same time we started teaching the locals of the GOE how to all get along so they could develop their hooge hoard of mostly untapped mineral wealth instead of having to rely on poppy farming.  

                                                  Advertisement

Are you an old-school junkie? Synthetic opioids just not the same thing? Insist on products derived from Afghanistan-certified opium™. Look for the ACO logo, your guarantee of a fentanyl-free recreational pharmaceutical. 

{Excuse me, my favorite pathetic pasty patriarch, are you allowed to say true dat? Is that racist?}

I don't think so but you might be able to build a case for cultural appropriation.

Now, where was I... oh yeah, Afghanistan.

{Right, and what about Iraq? Whatever happened to Iraq?}

As for the current state of the state of Iraq, There's a State Department Travel Advisory in effect.  

Iraq - Level 4: Do Not Travel

Do not travel to Iraq due to COVID-19, terrorism, kidnapping, armed conflict, and Mission Iraq’s limited capacity to provide support to U.S. citizens.

As for Afghanistan, I googled the phrase — what's going on in Afghanistan today? — and "About 407,000,000 results (0.56 seconds)" were returned. 

{Ain't Google somethin'? Looks like you were wrong, Sparky.}

Technically speaking maybe, but when I started scrolling through the hits there wasn't much to find about the current state of the American (and Americanized), um... strandees? 

{I'm guessing most western reporters aren't begging to be assigned to the Afghanistan beat.}

True dat. But Al Jezera is there, as you might well imagine, but don't seem to be devoting much coverage to our strandees, as you also might well imagine.

The Associated Press had stories about people like "... 100 students, alumni, and faculty members of the Afghanistan National Institue of Music..." making it out. Apparently, there's Hadith about music lovers having molten lead poured into their ears on the day of judgment but...

{Ouch.}

But nothing about the unfortunate folks I'm interested in. 

Devoted columnist that I am, I shall continue to slave over my hot keyboard and mouse with my arthritic fingers, in service to my readers, by checking the Afghanistan web page of the Associated Press early every morning this week.

After all, the AP supplies news to the news media... who are free to ignore it, or publish it "below the fold."    

Monday, 10.11.21: The US is going to provide humanitarian aid to a "desperately poor Afghanistan." 

"In their statement, the Taliban said without elaborating that they would 'facilitate principled movement of foreign nationals.'"  Fingers crossed?

Tuesday

Nothing from the AP but the Wall Street Journal reports that Aman Khalili, "An Afghan interpreter who helped rescue then- Sen. Joe Biden in 2008 when his helicopter made an emergency landing in Afghanistan has escaped from the country."

He's not here, but he and his family made it to Pakistan — because some U.S. and Afghan veterans snuck him out.

{I believe that should be sneaked.} 

I don't care.

Wednesday

Spain's defense ministry manages to extract 160 locals they had employed while in Afghanistan.  

Thursday

Move along folks, nothing to see here.

Friday

5:40 am: No news is good news? Oh... Marine Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller has pleaded guilty to demanding someone take responsibility for the Afghanistan S.N.A.F.U. 

Poppa loves you,

Have an OK day

{Wait-wait-wait. What about Gitmo?}

Oh yeah, sorry. Looks like 39 people are still locked up there. But Uncle Joe promised back in February to shut it down — by 2023. Sounds like a job for Vice President Harris... once she finishes fixing the Mexican border crisis.  

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Vote For the Narcissistic A-hole ⸺ It's Important

                                                    Image by kalhh from Pixabay 

This is a weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids and my great-grandkids — the Stickies — to advise them and haunt them after they become grups or I'm deleted.

Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, and/or grups may result in a debilitating intersectional triggering

About 

Glossary 

Erratically Appearing Hallucinatory Guest Star: Dana — A Gentlerreader

"Corruption is a cancer: a cancer that eats away at a citizen's faith in democracy..." -Joe Biden

Dear (eventual) Grandstickies and Great-Grandstickies (and Gentlereaders),

In my semi-humble opinion, Donald J. Trump is a narcissistic arsehole. 

However, since I've been unable to secure a commitment from a dissatisfied, high ranking general or two to provide me with enough troops to execute a soft coup, I'm voting for the Donald. In fact, I already did. 

[Wait-wait-wait. Didn't you formally endorse the Harris/Biden ticket?]

I did, and I stand by my endorsement. After all, the reason for my endorsement was personal safety. Anyone that reads my column can easily deduce I'm a man of the right who used to be a libertarian with conservative impulses that has evolved into a conservative with libertarian impulses. 

We all have to grow up eventually.  

To the best of my knowledge, there are no high profile seemingly rational, well respected public figures (or even actors) of the right calling for dusting off the guillotines if the Orange one is not reelected.

From Robert Reich, former Secretary of Labor, current professor at UC Berkley, and prolific Democratic talking head:

"When this nightmare is over, we need a Truth and Reconciliation Commission. It would erase Trump’s lies, comfort those who have been harmed by his hatefulness, and name every official, politician, executive, and media mogul whose greed and cowardice enabled this catastrophe." 

Tweet! Tweet! 

Nor, to the best of my knowledge, are there any high profile seemingly rational, well respected public figures (or even actors) of the right calling for dusting off the guillotines if the Orange one is reelected.  

Former Secretary of State John Kerry has stated that another electoral victory by the Donald could provoke a revolution in the United States.

Dana executes a not half bad imitation of a chicken clucking and says: 

[I think you'll be okay given that your writing career is not quite the stuff of legend. Given that you could vote libertarian like you did last time, why did you vote for the Donald if you think he's a narcissistic a-hole?] 

That was a protest vote. The Hilliam are even more corrupt than Uncle Joe and Hunter the Gatherer, or at least better at it. Also, I thought the Donald was as surprised by his nomination as I was (and as surprised again when he was elected president).

[Wait a sec', now that I think about it you haven't mentioned anything about why you have such a low opinion of the Donald.] 

Where to begin? Trophy wives, the fact that his primary business focus for the last several years involved selling the sizzle, not the actual steak, "Grab 'em by the pussy," the... listen, the absurd hairdo and the orange-tinted skin speak volumes. 

The primary reason I don't like him was the long line of small contractors that stepped up to say that this "big guy" was infamous for stiffing the little guys when the bill came due. Because he could.  

Being a former small — make that tiny — business owner, I took that personally.  

However...   

Prior to the plague, we enjoyed three solid years of economic growth despite the previous administration (which, as you may remember, included uncle Joe) telling us for eight solid years that the party was over. 

Everybody out of the pool. From now on it's tepid economic growth and "leading from behind." Jimmy Carter Malaise had returned.

But then the Donald, while distracting the Purple Press with his absurd tweets, cut taxes and regulations, freed the frackers (= cleaner air + lower energy prices), stood up to China, reduced illegal immigration, and reignited the economy. 

Oh, and with the help of Jared Kushner, his thirty-something son-in-law, passed a prison reform bill and accomplished more for peace in the Middle East than the above mentioned John Kerry could even dream of.    

[Well, maybe, but since the plague hit he's...]

We're not going there, Dana, it's still half time (HT: Scott Adams). The legion of "experts" constantly contradicting each other while regularly changing their tunes and a Purple Press that prefers sensationalism to clarity has left me dazed and confused. 

My fingers are crossed and I've noticed Crafty Kamala and Uncle Joe have proposed nothing new. 

Look, I don't like what the Republican party has devolved into any more than I like what the Democratic party has devolved into. But Uncle Joe served as VP for eight years while the economy sputtered and race relations deteriorated in spite of the fact we had a black president. 

Biden is still claiming that he got into the race to save us from Trump the evil racist in spite of the fact that the "fine people hoax" he never gets tired of spreading was/is, indeed, a hoax.

Biden doesn't seem to have a problem with Swamp's way of doing things as long as it's his kid that's hip-deep in the putrid water while Uncle Joe maintains semi-plausible deniability from his basement.

Finally, given that there's a better than average chance Crafty Kamala will wind up behind the desk in the oval office I'm sticking with the devil I know.

Poppa loves you,
Have an OK day

P.S. If you've never heard the name (Lt.) Tony Bobilinski you should Google it immediately. You will easily confirm that Uncle Joe (a.k.a. the big guy) is as corrupt as the Purple Press Corps that guards the walls of the Swamp. 

                                                *       *       *

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Kamala Harris For President

                                                                Image by RJA1988 from Pixabay   

This is a weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids and my great-grandkids — the Stickies — to advise them and haunt them after they become grups or I'm deleted.

Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, and/or grups may result in a debilitating intersectional triggering

About 

Glossary 

Erratically Appearing Hallucinatory Guest Star: Dana — A Gentlerreader

"I'm not talking about the neo-Nazis and the white nationalists, because they should be condemned totally." -Donald Trump

Dear (eventual) Grandstickies and Great-Grandstickies (and Gentlereaders), 

[Kamala Harris For President! Are you skimping on your meds again so you can afford to have pizza delivered once a week? 

Wait-wait-wait... Is this just your face-saving way of dropping out of the race? Are you no longer running for king? I've heard nothing from CNN or Fox.]  

No, Dana, I...

[And she's not running for president she...]

Don't think so huh? She's... nevermind. No, Dana, I'm still running. My formal endorsement is a purely defensive maneuver inspired by Scott Adams, the IUPPPP&PVOTTOT, Antifa, and Black Lives Matter. 

[Huh?]

In 2016, Mr. Adams (the Dilbert dude) had his lucrative corporate speaking engagements dry up and he started receiving death threats for predicting that Daffy Donald would win and explaining how the Donald so easily manipulates his fellow H. sapiens to get his way.

This was in spite of the fact he went out of his way to not endorse the Donald, and also made it clear he normally doesn't even vote. 

Adams, having achieved FU level wealth quite some time ago, nowadays devotes a lot of his time to trying to teach the world why H. sapiens are fundamentally irrational creatures that rarely act rationally and how to best use this information. 

In fact, like Jonathon Haidt, who proved this clinically several years ago, he points out that often as not we use our rational abilities to rationalize our irrational behaviors. 

For the record, nowadays Mr. Adams is a self-acknowledged Trump supporter and does plan to vote for the first time in many years. Two of his reasons are Uncle Joe's cognitive challenges and because he (or his handlers) are still playing the debunked Fine People Hoax card, among others.  

He's also mentioned the destruction of the ISIS caliphate and points out that prior to the plague the economy was booming and African Americans were enjoying record employment levels that Uncle Joe and the Obamanator could only dream of.

Anyways... Mr. Adam's formally endorsed the Hilliam in 2016. Given that allegedly rational people came after him in spite of the fact he clearly and unambiguously made it clear he was not endorsing the Donald, it was the rational (and funniest) thing to do. 

Especially since, figuratively and literally, people who wore a certain red baseball-style cap were (and continue to be) beat up on a regular basis in the name of social justice.   

Especially since, figuratively and literally, the Wokies have devolved to the point they're now setting things on fire, the rational thing to do is endorse Uncle Joe's regent before he hits the wall and/or is elbowed aside. 

[Wait-wait-wait, regent?]

Merrian-Webster - 1: a person who governs a kingdom in the minority, absence, or disability of the sovereign (my emphasis)

Substitute republic rapidly degenerating into a democracy for kingdom and it works perfectly.

[But what if the Orange One triumphs?]  

There are no mobs of red-hat-wearing Trumpets running wild in the streets. Win/win (survive/survive).  

Speaking of the Dilbert dude, I'd like to personally thank Scott Adams for being one of the talking heads I follow — although we frequently disagree and his ego... well, nevermind — to suss out what's really going on.   

See, as I've written before, my life has been a case study in how to be a day late and a dollar short. I'm an un-syndicated columnist (a pretentious blogger?) in an era in which trusted publications, reading, and word-blogging are rapidly being replaced by (often videoized) podcasts and video-blogging.

As for me, I agree with Daphne du Maurier. "Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard."

[Stick in the mud!]  

Thank you, Dana. Guilty as charged. 

Although I've always personally been a voracious reader, and now I'm a writer, I don't take this, well, personally. Depending on who you ask, as much as "half of the human brain is directly or indirectly devoted to processing visual information." 

I have mixed feelings about the podcasts that are more like broadcast radio shows (i.e., no video) because they make it possible to add yet another task/distraction to our multitasked lives and ever-diminishing attention spans.

[Huh?]

Are you gonna' tell me you don't know at least one someone who can't seem to function without never-ending audio (and/or video) input? 

[Oh.] 

[Is there a point on the horizon my blatherskitish buddy? You're about out of allocated words.] 

Well, I'm just glad that Scott Adams, and no shortage of others with a clue and who are more motivated than I, are willing to tweet and stream and appear as guests and write lengthy non-fiction books and teach classes and give talks and lectures and etceteratures. 

Your semi-humble correspondent is grateful that he's not the only one that thinks Western Civilization ain't all bad. I'm content to write my semi-humble little column aware that Adams, as well as the members of the Intellectual Dark Web, are trying hard to save the republic (and the world...) from itself.  

 

Poppa loves you,

Have an OK day

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Cranky don't tweet.