Saturday, June 23, 2018

Dictators: Things I Think About (No. 3)

If you're new here, this is a weekly column consisting of letters written to my grandchildren (who exist) and my great-grandchildren (who aren't here yet) — the Stickies — to haunt them after they become grups and/or I'm dead.

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Irregularly Appearing Imaginary Guest Stars
Marie-Louise -- My beautiful muse and back scratcher 
Iggy -- My designated Sticky
Dana -- My designated gentlereader

"History has proved that dictators can't last forever."  -Lee Hyeon-seo

Dear (eventual) Grandstickies & Great-Grandstickies,

I have a tab on my website, labeled, somewhat childishly I admit, Dick Taters. There isn't much there, there. I haven't done much with it. In my defense, it's relatively new and I'm somewhat preoccupied with other projects just now.

However, my fascination with dictators remains strong. Recently, Li'l Rocket Man (LRM) has been in the news because of his sit down with the Donald. Our dealmaker in chief doesn't appear to have accomplished much beyond agreeing to keep talking.

Of course, talking trumps war. Stay tuned, he'll resolve the trade thing. As for the immigration thing... I dunno.

Big But
From an entertainment standpoint, the meeting was a whooge success...

A Li'l Rocket Man/the Donald Reality Show Special!
The Donald 
Li'l Rocket Man 
 <and special guest star >
Dennis Rodman!
<and featuring>
guys in matching suits that run alongside Li'l Rocket Man's limo!

Clearly, the guys in matching suits that run along alongside Li'l Rocket Man's limo need a better name. The Rockettes comes immediately to mind but since Radio City probably has at least one lawyer on retainer... On the other hand, a legal battle could generate a bunch of free publicity if once the papers were served the N.K. Rockettes held a press conference and gracefully backed down.

They could pitch themselves as just a hardworking bunch of young fellas trying to make it in showbiz before they (and assorted loved ones) starve to death, or get executed when LRM is having a bad day.

Speaking of Special!s is that still a thing? When I was a kid it seemed as though there was at least one _______ Special! a week on one or more of the four TV stations my family had access to via a tinfoil enhanced, rabbit ear antenna system.         

I'm so old...
How old are you!

The name most likely to be inserted in the blank above is Bob Hope; we only had one TV; a mom and a dad; tossing an F-bomb was considered going nuclear.

Anyways... Li'l Rocket Man is a third generation bloodthirsty tyrant, which makes him a king and a dictator if you think about it. I'm talkin' about a good old-fashioned, all-powerful, because God said so sort of king. Not just a wimpy, parasitic, ribbon cutting modern sort of king.

Of course, being a communist, at least on paper, he can't invoke God or that divine right bonkercockie.

Wait a minute... given that Sports has replaced religion as the opiate of the masses does that explain the Li'l Rocket Man/Dennis Rodman relationship? Could it be that LRM is shrewdly planning to make Rodman a god, thus reviving the time-tested, traditional church/state/starving peasants meme?

All rise for his royal chubbiness and the multi-tatted, plentifully pierced, omnipotent bouncer of balls!

I, being me, got to wondering. Given that LRM is a third generation enslaver, how common is a hereditary dictatorship?

I'm not talking kings whose evil deads tend to be at least somewhat moderated by their countries military -- google the phrase "countries of the middle east" -- because they want access to Western markets, money, power, and arms sales.

I'm talking LRM level monsters who are kept in power by a military/police force that is as evil as they are. Tyrants who prefer to ally with the likes of Russia or China, both of whom have long and storied traditions of viewing the populace as highly expendable meat puppets.

I went a-googling and found a great article published by the Guardian back in 2010. As I suspected (guessed), hereditary dictatorship is rare. I mean, it seems obvious that your average evil despot has a better than average chance of being murdered.

Also, ya gotta figure their death is like as not to trigger a clutch of wannabe evil despots to go to the mattresses till the (gun)smoke clears and a new national bully emerges.

The writer, Julian Borger, states that the last time a three-generation tyranny occurred was in Paraguay in the mid-1800s. More recently, the bloodthirsty Somoza family ran Nicaragua from 1936 to 1979, but the three jefes only spanned two generations.

What have we learned Dorothies? Dictators, like all bullies, are an aberration with (relatively speaking) short shelf lives. However, we must remain alert. There's a wannabe bully hiding under every other rock. Poppa loves you.

Have an OK day.

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©2018 Mark Mehlmauer   (The Flyoverland Crank)

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