Friday, March 25, 2022

Can I Quote You On That?

Musings of a quote collector {Shouldn't that be may I quote you on that?}

This is a weekly column consisting of letters to my perspicacious progeny. I write letters to my grandkids
 — the Stickies
 — eventual selves to advise them and haunt them after they've become grups and/or I'm deleted. 

Trigger Warning: This column is rated SSC — Sexy Seasoned Citizens — Perusal by kids, callowyutes, or grups may result in a debilitating meltdown.  

Featuring Dana: Hallucination, guest star, and charming literary device 

"I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever." -Brian Celio

Dear (eventual) Grandstickies and Great-Grandstickies (and Gentlereaders),

"Hi, my name's Marcus and I'm a quodophile. This is my first QA meeting." 
"Hi, Marcus."  

I've somehow managed to assemble a 33 page "Google Doc" consisting of hundreds of quotes that I add to occasionally but rarely refer to. I also have a tattered notebook full of quotes that I never refer to but can't bring myself to throw away. 

This is unusual behavior for me because I'm a firm believer that you don't own things they own you and I delight in constantly culling my possessions.

{Who first said you don't own things, they own you? That's an interesting quote.} 

As far as I can tell, I can't tell, Dana. When I went a-googlin' and entered that exact question the Goog, without so much as a by-your-leave, changed the query to Who said the things we own end up owning us? It then answered itself: Quote by Chuck Palahniuk: “The things you own end up owning you. 

It left off the quotation marks at the end. Apparently, the Agorithmite that answered my question needs a grammar update and needs to work on its manners. 

{Who's Chuck Palahniuk?} 

He wrote Fight Club, the book that inspired the movie of the same name. Completely coinkydinkally, I recently tried (and failed) to watch the movie which came out in 1999 (I'm running a little behind). I learned some things though. 

The movie is awful (summary: real men are knuckle-dragging nihilists), it appears the book is awful (I'm not going to read it), and the gang at Google must love the movie, given that my query returned a multitude of hits singing the movie's praises, including video clips.  

{Wait-wait-wait. The gang at Google doesn't tweak search results to reflect their own biases, opinions, and ideologies. That would be unethical!}

Not from their perspective it ain't, however, that's a whole other column. But I drift, this column is supposed to be about my quote-saving obsession. 

As I mentioned, it's not as if I regularly fix myself a cup of Cafe Bustelo and scroll through my collection. 

Recently, in the midst of heartlessly and unsentimentally deleting and/or rearranging saved bookmarks in my web browser (those are what saved links to websites are called, Ed <GRIN>), I came across a link to the electronic version of my collection.

Aha! I said to myself for the hundredth or so time, I should go through this thing, only keep the really cool quotes, and actually read them from time to time for inspirational/motivational purposes. 

The same thing happened that always happens. I read a bunch of 'em, liked them all, and...

{I suspect that might be the reason you saved them in the first place.}

And then I gave up, closed the file, thought about how I should transpose the quotes from the tattered and ignored notebook to the usually ignored file — someday — and returned to culling bookmarks.   

<Dana executes an exaggerated yawn.>

{Fascinating stuff this week, Sparky. Leaving the Stickies several hundred columns and a quote collection will no doubt take some of the sting out of the lack of financial remuneration they'll not be receiving to assuage their grief after you're deleted. Hows about a quote for those of us who have endured this column?} 

Well... If you insist.

My most recently added quote is, "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been." -Madeleine L’Engle

{And who, pray tell, is...}

I dunno, wait, I'll be right back... Ah! She was a successful and prolific American writer that I confess I've never heard of.

I also confess that although I agree completely with her, I would add: if you're lucky. An awful lot of my fellow geezers and geezerettes seem to have lost or forgotten much of who and what they were on their way to here and now that would be helpful to remember.

Howsabout this? "Many have lost, or abandoned, much of who and what they once were on their way to here and now that would serve them well." -me

{I'd stick with quoting other people if I were you.}

Harumph! How about "When youth departs may wisdom prove enough."

{That's not bad!}

Not bad! It's great... it's also a Winston Churchill quote. You did suggest that I stick with quoting other writers.

Poppa loves you,
Have an OK day

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