Coffee?

I'm an independent columnist who dreams of a regular gig that doesn't involve delivering food or turning my car into a taxi cab. I publish a new column every Saturday.

If you enjoy my work my fragile, artistic ego and I (GRIN) would really appreciate it if you'd show some support and help me/us stay motivated.  

I've been writing weekly columns for better than four years now and in my semi-humble opinion, I've gotten good enough to ask my readers to buy me a can of coffee without feeling embarrassed.

Yes, I said can. I live in the Heartland, buddy. Four bucks buys a 10oz. can of Cafe Bustelo Espresso Ground Coffee (ALWAYS PURE AND FLAVORFUL. LIKE NO OTHER.) at Dollar General. 
For four bucks a month, or 40 bucks a year (that's 77 cents a column), you can tell everyone you're a patron of the arts. If your cash flow is currently a trickle a one-time donation of five bucks will alleviate your guilty conscience and you too will be a patron of the arts. 
Please help me to not submit to the temptations of starting a new cult, becoming a gigolo or a politician, or some equally inappropriate behavior for a beloved father and grandfather. 

Thanks if you do, thanks anyway if you don't. Regardless, if my work has pleased you please share it.

Thanks,
MM