Filthy Lucre

If you enjoy my work, and if you're willing to provide some financial succor to comfort my fragile artistic ego, I would really appreciate it if you'd show some support to help me stay motivated. If you don't, I understand. Everyone seems to want some of your hard-earned fiat money nowadays, yes?  

I've been writing weekly columns for better than seven years now and in my semi-humble opinion, I've gotten good enough to ask my readers to buy me a can of coffee without feeling embarrassed.

Yes, I said can. I live in the Heartland, buddy. A one-off $5 tip buys almost buys (transitory inflation) a 10oz. can of Cafe Bustelo Espresso Ground Coffee (ALWAYS PURE AND FLAVORFUL. LIKE NO OTHER.) at my favorite Dollar General. 
Become a member of, Cranky's Coffee Club and for only $5 a month (or $50 a year) you can tell everyone you're a patron of the arts (I'll back you up), have access to my magnum opus, Cranky's History of the World, and attack me or my work without having to go to my Facebook page where I steer all of my readers that don't share in your generosity and obvious good taste.
You can help me to resist the temptation to start a cult, become a gigolo, a politician, or engage in some other equally smarmy, inappropriate behavior for a beloved father and grandfather. 

Thanks if you do, and thanks anyway if you don't. Regardless, if my work has pleased you, please share it.