The Only Thing That is Constant is Change

If you're new here, this is a weekly column consisting of letters written to my grandchildren (who exist) and my great-grandchildren (who aren't here yet) -- the Stickies -- to haunt them after they become grups and/or I'm dead.

[Bloggaramians: Blogarama renders the links in my columns useless. Please click on View original (above↑) to solve the problem/access lotsa columns.]

Irregularly Appearing Imaginary Guest Stars

Marie-Louise -- My sublime, drop-dead gorgeous muse (right shoulder) and back scratcher 

Iggy -- Designated Sticky

Dana -- Designated gentlereader (left shoulder)

"The only thing that is constant is change." -Heraclitus


Dear (eventual) Grandstickies & Great-Grandstickies, 

Last week, one of the things I discussed was the invention and the inventor (Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr) of the adage the more things change, the more they stay the same. This is another way to say there's nothing new under the sun, as we're repeatedly reminded in the Old Testament's book of Ecclesiastes.

As a kid, and a callowyute, the meaning behind these two statements was explained to me. Things actually changed all the time. H. sapiens had slowly but steadily invented new shtuff and in fact, are now inventing new shtuff at what appears to be an ever accelerating pace.

However, travel by covered wagon or travel by rocket is still travel. Roasting a fresh kill over a tribal fire and dining at a four-star restaurant is still eating.

More importantly, human nature remains the nature of humans. Yes, Mike, I realize cyborgs are now a possibility, but I suspect enhanced H. sapiens are to generic H. sapiens as A-bombs are to sharp sticks.

Most importantly, the nature of a reality, the one we inhabit at least, is cyclical. Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Kid, callowyute, grup/sexy seasoned citizen (if you're lucky and smart), dead. Big bang, expansion, decline, oblivion. Etcetera.

As to whether something follows dead, or oblivion, the way spring follows winter, that's above my pay grade. I'm inclined to believe it does. Time will tell but time's not telling in the meantime.

[Well, it's finally happened, you've gone completely around the bend. A couple a hundred words in and whoosh! off we go into the wild blue yonder, says Dana. Marie-Louise is giving me a look of concern/compassion. Iggy is trying to stifle a giggle.]

Get a grip you lot, I know where I'm going (more or less). Please, just do your jobs and I won't have to start taking my meds again. We'll be fine.]


BIG BUT.

It's occurred to me that I began considering, what I'm considering, in the middle of the discussion and that I should've started with Heraclitus.

"The only thing that is constant is change." -Heraclitus, circa 500 BCE (or maybe not).

Maybe not because when I went a-googling in an effort to find out who exactly is credited with this quote, Mr. H. led the list. However, if you dig down a bit, just a couple of inches, in fact, you quickly discover that Herry's writings vanished a long time ago. Fragments of his shtuff are mentioned in the writings of other ancient Greek philosophers.

[Gimmie a break...]

And before you get started Dana, yes, you could make an argument it doesn't matter whether Herry actually said it, but it does.

I'll grant you that whoever actually said it first probably makes no difference as to whether it's true or not. However, an accuracy life jacket can help prevent drowning in the Dizzinformation Ocean or the Fake News River.


"The only thing that is constant is change." I've been hearing or reading some version of this adage/aphorism/proverb/cliche (or whatever it is) all my life. Regardless of what label an English teacher would hang on it, I think most of us would agree it qualifies as conventional wisdom. "The generally accepted belief, opinion, judgment, or prediction about a particular matter," according to Merriam-Webster.

After all, it's just common sense, right? Merriam-Webster again: "sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts."

So, the only thing that is constant is change. But the more things change, the more they stay the same. (I mean, after all, there's nothing new under the sun.)

Hoo-boy, now what? Two widely used bits Common sense and conventional wisdom, both with ancient pedigrees, appear to cancel each other out.


Well, they don't actually. They're change viewed from different perspectives. Stay on your toes because change happens, often when you're least expecting it. But don't be afraid of change, it's the nature of reality. Think like a Boy Person Scout and be prepared.

Being prepared for change is like being a car owner with Triple A. Everyone knows that if you have a valid Triple A card the universe will mysteriously rearrange itself so that you're much less likely to need it than if you don't have one.

Also, change often turns out to be not that much of a change, or that big of a deal, after all. Sometimes, things change for the better.


Anyway, it ain't change, its uncertainty. Herry should have said that "the only thing that's certain is uncertainty." It's uncertainty that really makes us crazy.

[Mybe he did! If all we've got is fragments from other people, I mean who knows what all he actually wrote about? I looked him up? on my smartphone? Looks like the go to guy for this Heraclitus dude is another dude? named Diogenes Laertius? who wrote a sorta like, Greek philosophy's greatest hits? But it came out, like, 800 years after that Heraclitus dude was deleted.]

Ziggy, you never cease to amaze me. I guess great minds, or at least ours, think alike.

We smack out a high five. And then, for about a half a second, I'm convinced I've stumbled on the road to semi-immortality (or at least, my 15 minutes of fame).

"The only thing that's certain is uncertainty." -Mark Mehlmauer

Unfortunately, it immediately occurred to me that someone else must have certainly already claimed it. It's obvious, it's generic, it returns 6,040,0000 results if you go a-googling (including images). The bad news is that the second hit I got was a quote that's a kabillion times better than mine.

"Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security." -John Allen Paulos. Mr. Paulos is a mathematician that looks like a mad scientist (in a good way).

The good news is that my next letter will be built around his quote. Poppa loves you.

Have an OK day.


[P.S. Gentlereaders, for 25¢ a week, no, seriously, for 25¢ a week you can become a Patron of this weekly column and help to prevent an old crank from running the streets at night in search of cheap thrills and ill-gotten gains.

If there are some readers out there that think my shtuff is worth a buck or three a month, color me honored, and grateful. Regardless, if you like it, could you please share it? There are buttons at the end of every column.]


©2017 Mark Mehlmauer   (The Flyoverland Crank)

If you're reading this on my website (where there are tons of older columns, a glossary, and other goodies) and if you wish to react (way cooler than liking) -- please scroll down.

Some Blasts From the Past

If you're new here, this is a weekly column consisting of letters written to my grandchildren (who exist) and my great-grandchildren (who aren't here yet) -- the Stickies -- to haunt them after they become grups and/or I'm dead.

[Bloggaramians: Blogarama renders the links in my columns useless. Please click on View original (above↑) to solve the problem/access lotsa columns.]

Irregularly Appearing Imaginary Guest Stars

Marie-Louise -- My sublime, drop-dead gorgeous muse (right shoulder) and back scratcher 

Iggy -- Designated Sticky

Dana -- Designated gentlereader (left shoulder)

"First of all, you can make the argument that there's no such thing as the past. Nobody lived in the past. -David McCullough


Dear (eventual) Stickies & Great-Grandstickies, 

Submitted for your consideration:

-- Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr (1808 - 1890), according to Wikipedia, was a successful French critic, journalist, and novelist. He was also an avid angler and influential floriculturist. Oh, and he said, "the more it changes, the more it's the same thing." This is rendered in English as, "the more things change, the more they stay the same."

Ain't that ironical? A reasonably well-known (in his day anyway) French intellectual that, until recently, I (and I'll betcha a bottle-a-pop, most people) had never even heard of, crafted an epigram that's probably been repeated at least a half a kabillion times.

It's not even his best shtuff. As to abolishing capital punishment, he said, "Let the gentlemen who do the murders take the first step."

I realize that nowadays that quote would trigger Snowflakes and enrage tweeters for his blatant sexism. After all, women are just as capable of murder as men. Also, everyone knows that female and/or gender challenged hitpersons are paid less than their heterosexual male counterparts.

Still, it rocks.      


-- Speaking of the more things change thing -- from The Elements of Political Economy by J. Laurence Laughlin, published in 1887.

"That body of people certainly is the strongest and the happiest in which each person is thinking for himself, is independent, self-respecting, self-confident, self-controlled, self-mastered. Whenever a man does things for himself he values it infinitely more than if it's done for him and he is better for having done it...

"If, on the other hand, men constantly hear it said that they are oppressed and downtrodden, deprived of their own, ground down by the rich, and that the state will set all things right for them in time, what other effect can that teaching have on the character and energy of the ignorant that the complete destruction of all self-help?"

[Gentlereaders, for the record, I insincerely apologize if Mr. Laughlin's use of the word ignorant in the last sentence of the quotation above if it triggered any H. sapiens due to _______.]



-- The Wall Street Journal, as I've stated elsewhere, is my personal paper of record. A phrase, Dear Stickies, that may no longer exist by the time you read this. I'm so old that I can remember happily paying a buck for the dead trees edition when the local papers were still selling for 50 cents or less. In fact, I'm so old that I can remember when typewriters had a ¢ key.

In fact, I'm so old that I...

[Marie-Louise! quick! a little help here, he's already wandering off!]

Thanks, Dana, I'm OK.

Sorry, when I stopped at a convenience store to buy a copy the clerks found the price of the WSJ so shocking they would often feel free to call attention to my folly. Why would anyone pay a dollar for a newspaper? The reason I did was because of the high quality of the reporting, and, they did (and do) strive for objectivity.

Actual objectivity. As opposed to...

The -- given that we're on the side of the angels (not that we're backward enough to actually believe in angels) having adopted unassailable, righteous, core beliefs that are beyond debate, we reserve the right to color all of our reporting with these principles and still claim objectivity because we're on a mission from God (not that we're backward enough to actually believe in God) to enlighten all the maroons who still cling to guns, religion, etc. in spite of our selfless efforts -- school of journalism.

Here's hoping, Stickies and gentlereaders, that this continues. Since they've been doing what they do since 1889, and unlike many of their competitors (as in other newspapers), are thriving, I'd say the odds are in my favor.

They're primarily focused on real news and (like me) are mostly oblivious to the latest pearls of wisdom offered up by this week's show biz royalty for the guidance of the little people.

Incidentally, they now charge $4 for the dead trees edition, a  bit less if you have it delivered, a price I would still happily pay (if I could afford it). I do semi-happily (I'm, uh, frugal) pay about $30 a month for the online edition. There's no shortage of advertising but it's (mostly/usually) not particularly aggressive.

Aggressive? Yes, I refer to allegedly free sites that keep getting in my face via messages that take over the screen and/or videos with a mind of their own. Also, somehow, the Journal makes money without clickbait. Go figure...

However, this is the Dizzinformation Age and they offer almost too much (and constantly updated) content. I read it every morning but If I happen to stop back a few hours later I may be presented with a different paper. A hard copy, once a day, provided me with the comfy delusion that I had some control over my life and had a clue as to what's going on the world.

[Heads up, Marie-Louise, he's this close...]

I'm fine Dana. I've craftily established why I like the WSJ while simultaneously pointing out that high quality, objective, real (celebrity, clickbait free) news is still available while simultaneously touching on one of my obsessions....

[Which is?]

The Information Age is also the Dizzinformation Age.

[Digression: Gentlereaders, the WSJ lives behind a paywall but does permit the sharing of articles via social media. I occasionally post one (and other shtuff) on the Crank's Facebook page. Cranky don't tweet.]


-- There's a tab on my simple, uncluttered, easily navigable, pop up free, ad-free website labeled Please Read This If You're New Here. It explains why I write these letters and where I'm coming from. From what I can tell (I'm technochallenged) it's not accessed all that often. Apparently, my gentlereaders aren't as interested in me as I am.

Early on I offer up a lengthy quote from Sir Kenneth Clark, a British art historian that was the "star" of a BBC produced television series, Civilization and who subsequently released a book of the same name based on the scripts he wrote for the series, in 1969.

I reproduce it here for two reasons. First, for my gentlereaders, some of whom (I hope) may find it as inspirational as I do. Second, for the Stickies. I fully expect you all to at least attempt to watch the video of the show if you can find it and/or read the book.

At a minimum, I insist that you read the quote that follows at least once a year, on my birthday. Otherwise, I'll come back and haunt you and yours. I'm considering implementing a curse as well.

"At this point I reveal myself in my true colours, as a stick-in-the-mud. I hold a number of beliefs that have been repudiated by the liveliest intellects of our time. I believe that order is better than chaos, creation better than destruction. I prefer gentleness to violence, forgiveness to vendetta. On the whole I think that knowledge is preferable to ignorance, and I am sure that human sympathy is more valuable than ideology. I believe that in spite of the recent triumphs of science, men haven't changed much in the last 2,000 years; and in consequence, we must still try to learn from history. History is ourselves. (Original does not have a paragraph break at this point, sorry Sir Kenneth.)

I also hold one or two beliefs that are hard to put shortly. For example, I believe in courtesy, the ritual by which we avoid hurting other people's feelings by satisfying our own egos. And I think that we should remember that we are part of a great whole. All living things are our brothers and sisters. Above all, I believe in the God-given genius of certain individuals, and I value a society that makes their existence possible."

And I'm an agnostic, go figure. Poppa loves you.

Have an OK day.


[P.S. Gentlereaders, for 25¢ a week, no, seriously, for 25¢ a week you can become a Patron of this weekly column and help to prevent an old crank from running the streets at night in search of cheap thrills and ill-gotten gains.

If there are some readers out there that think my shtuff is worth a buck or three a month, color me honored, and grateful. Regardless, if you like it, could you please share it? There are buttons at the end of every column.]


©2017 Mark Mehlmauer   (The Flyoverland Crank)

If you're reading this on my website (where there are tons of older columns, a glossary, and other goodies) and if you wish to react (way cooler than liking) -- please scroll down.

STEM (Part Two)

If you're new here, this is a weekly column consisting of letters written to my grandchildren (who exist) and my great-grandchildren (who aren't here yet) -- the Stickies -- to haunt them after they become grups and/or I'm dead.

[Bloggaramians: Blogarama renders the links in my columns useless. Please click on View original (above↑) to solve the problem/access lotsa columns.]

Irregularly Appearing Imaginary Guest Stars

Marie-Louise -- My sublime, drop-dead gorgeous muse (right shoulder) and back scratcher 

Iggy -- Designated Sticky

Dana -- Designated gentlereader (left shoulder)

"The only rules: be charming, be humane, be smart, and never take yourself too seriously." -Jeffrey A. Tucker


Dear (eventual) Grandstickies & Great-Grandstickies, 

In my last letter I talked about how I've watched, in the course of my life, America go from cultural consensus (more or less) to cultural chaos. I talked about, and briefly defined, the elements of my STEM acronym and promised to expand on them.

King Crank's STEM System is not a proposed new consensus. It's some simple rules for people of widely varying consensi to get along. O.K. class, let's review.

ST is for strategic (as opposed to good) taste. Sometimes a good fart joke is just what's called for, but all fart jokes all the time? not so much. That is to say, knowing when to show some class or style, as opposed to knowing when it's time to get down and dirty.

E is for etiquette. As in "the customary code of polite behavior in society...". This was the very first definition that popped up when I googled the E word. See, I'm not talking about, nor do I care, which spoon is for what. I'm talking about some common sense rules to prevent citizens in general, and Bigfeets in particular, from stepping on each other's toes.

M is for modesty. First Google supplied definition, "the quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities." Third, "behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency."

In the process of trying to expand on them, I ran into some problems. First and foremost, I discovered that I really didn't have much else to say that amounted to more than gilding the lily (although in my case, painting the petunia is probably a better metaphor).

Strategic Taste. We have to share the playground so take the trouble to note where you are and who else is within earshot and speak and act accordingly.

Etiquette. Good manners would be a better choice but etiquette works better acronym wise. Please/thanks/excuse me etc.

Modesty. Almost no one is as smart or as (b)right as they think they are. And be an exhibitionist, I don't care. But only when your audience is willing one, not a captive one.

Bottom line. By all means, do your thing, but always keep in mind that your mom or your kids, or someone else's mom or kids may be watching or listening. Share the space with respect for who you're sharing it with.

It was at this point I hit a wall. Wait a sec', it occurred to me, this stuff is obvious, everyone knows this already. And yet, everyone's coming at everyone else via public and social media.

[Bonkercockie! Clearly, everyone doesn't know this. Furthermore, everyone is not coming at everyone else via whatever. And speaking of points, can we look forward to you making one, at some point?

Oui?

Dana, and Marie-Louise, are in the house, well, in my head at least. Where's Iggy? I inquire.

In his room developing hearing loss, can't you hear the exploding F-bombs? Dana responds.

Yeah, now that you mention it. Will one of you please deal with it? Watch out for psychic shrapnel.]


My imaginary dynamic duo just serendipitously, but accurately, explained the wall referenced above and have shown me a way around it. I stated that almost everyone already knows how to maintain peace on the playground. I should've added -- assuming they want to, or need to.

The Want To's are the (more or less) well-adjusted kids, callowyutes, grups, and sexy seasoned citizens. They're everywhere and far outnumber (for now at least) Need To's and Bigfeets. They practice my STEM System without ever having heard of it.

However, Bigfeets get most of the attention. Bigfeets, and their antics, are a major source of revenue for the Infotainment Industrial Complex. Being a self-admitted current events junkie, my everyone coming at everyone concept may be an inch or two over the top.

The Need To's are the (more or less) mal-adjusted kids, callowyutes, grups, and sexy seasoned citizens. Even those that have been raised by the human equivalent of feral cats, will, when it suits their purposes (getting what they want or trying to get out of trouble) suddenly develop social skills.

While all Bigfeets, when necessary, are Need To's, Need To's are not necessarily Bigfeets. It's complicated so I'm just gonna' leave that one lie there and move on.

I've witnessed this a proverbial million times (I am 39 after all). When cornered, all sorts of um, interesting people -- from the allegedly to the genuinely disadvantaged, from the sociopathic to the psychopathic -- instantly discover the ability to go along to get along to get out of trouble.

[Permit me to congratulate you on your keen grasp of the obvious, dear boy! May one enquire if you're planning on making a point, at some point, in the near fu-cha, sir? Dana's back and has acquired a British accent.

Marie-Louise is scratching my back, she knows where I'm headed.]


I maintain that our fragmented consensus is a Humpty Dumpty level problem. All King Crank's horses and all King Crank's men can't put the consensus together again.

So -- rather than joining the Global Whiners Club and devolving into yet another geezer endlessly bemoaning the gone but not forgotten good ol' days (the pointless pursuit of utopia, in reverse) I've posited my STEM System.

This is -- admittedly, a mere repackaging of literally ancient common sense notions of civilized behavior.

To serve -- as a reminder for some; a primer for others.

BIG BUT.

It dawned on my dim self, in the course of writing this letter, that the aftermath of the collapse of consensus -- the toxic, left-over radiation with a long half-life, if you will -- is the real problem. People can get along if they're wired that way, or are forced to (even Bigfeets). Or, if there's a threat from another playground. We were a more or less united nation after 9/11, for about five minutes.

The real problem? People that don't want to get along, with sensibilities maintained at a fever pitch by the Infotainment Industrial Complex.

The -- demonize don't compromise, the end justifies the means, we're clearly right you're clearly wrong so shut up, it's payback time, gotta break a few eggs to make a utopian omelet, not in my backyard,  _______, God is on our side, etcetera, ad nauseam, ad infinitum -- set.

Hoo-boy. Sometimes I'm glad I'm old.

Let us not end on a depressing note. Here, for your entertainment, are a bunch of musically updated nursery rhymes that begin with a sorta/kinda latin hip-hop version of Humpty Dumpty that's been viewed more than 250,000,000 times!?! Poppa loves you.

Have an OK day.


[P.S. Gentlereaders, for 25¢ a week, no, seriously, for 25¢ a week you can become a Patron of this weekly column and help to prevent an old crank from running the streets at night in search of cheap thrills and ill-gotten gains.

If there are some readers out there that think my shtuff is worth a buck or three a month, color me honored, and grateful. Regardless, if you like it, could you please share it? There are buttons at the end of every column.]


©2017 Mark Mehlmauer   (The Flyoverland Crank)

If you're reading this on my website (where there are tons of older columns, a glossary, and other goodies) and if you wish to react (way cooler than liking) -- please scroll down.