Saturday, November 5, 2016

Dear (Eventual) Stickies & Great-Grandstickies

The Stickies, if you are unaware, is the name I use for my grandkids, as a group. They are no longer sticky, so I pre-apologize to any given one of them if, after reaching adulthood, they should decide they are dysfunctional H. sapiens and innocent victims of this, that, and the other and, that one of the this, that, or the others turn out to be the fact I hung the name "the Stickies" around their delicate little neck.

I'm cautiously optimistic, however. It's early days yet, but so far they all seem to be in pretty good shape considering they live in a freakishly large household that includes me.

And now, if you'll forgive me, gentlereaders -- this is an open letter to them, they who are one of the primary reasons I continue to crank out my weekly column in spite of the fact I've yet to come close to being able to quit my day job -- so I must move on.

[Oh, but before I forget (sorry), let me publicly state that I don't expect any given one of them, no matter how financially successful they may turn out to be, to take care of me in my impending dotage. I'm sure I'll be fine.]

Dear Stickies & Great-Grandstickies,
It's the week before the presidential election of 2016...

[Sorry, sorry. I forgot to mention that I'm not writing to the current Stickies, who are busy being reasonably well-adjusted kids and/or young adults. I'm writing to the eventual Stickies, that is, the future, grown up Stickies, and also to the next generation of Stickies, my great-grandstickies. I hope to live long enough to not only meet my great-grandstickies but also to have a (hopefully) positive influence on their lives. Obviously, the odds of that happening decrease with each passing year but at least they will have access to my feeble scribbles. 

See, the Stickies probably won't remember all that much about the current election. The oldest is a newly minted 16-year-old (happy birthday, dude!). My great-grandstickies will be learning about it in history class. So, it's occurred to me that I can provide both groups with a first person account of this and other things as I experience them in real time. This will provide them with my perspective, and not just what they vaguely remember or learn about in history class. Hopefully, they will find this interesting.

Both of my parents died relatively young, long before my extended callowyute stage ended. I would love to have access to their thoughts on the Great Depression, WW2, and myriad other things.]

Dear Stickies & Great-Grandstickies,
It's the week before the presidential election of 2016 -- The Donald (Trump) v. The Hilliam (a symbiotic amalgamation of Hillary and William (a.k.a. Slick Willie) Clinton.

I'm reasonably certain cautiously optimistic that the history books will report that one of the defining characteristics, perhaps the defining characteristic, of the contest is that both candidates, according to the polls (and this is one case where a sharply divided nation agrees that even the polls are correct), are disliked and distrusted by more people than folks who like and trust them. Trust me, this is an accurate assessment.

It's not uncommon for even a given supporter of either candidate to state something like, "Sure, she's a world-class liar and a least a little bit crooked but..., or, "Sure, he often comes across as being a little nuts and he's at least a little bit crooked" -- but, "she/he is even worse."

By the way, I changed reasonably certain to cautiously optimistic because if the Hilliam wins I'm sure they will continue to push the nation in a leftward direction. At the moment at least, the public school system, as well as the majority of colleges and universities, are both guided by a philosophy that ranges from solidly left-wing to extremely left-wing.

This philosophy is currently somewhat enamored with revisionist history and free speech limitations, justified by the pursuit of political correctness. This is for your own good, of course, to protect you and your fellow delicate flowers and snowflakes from the inevitable trauma that will arise once your realize that the real world doesn't hand out participation trophies. So, who knows what the history books may actually say about this particular election considering we're told history is written by the winners.

Of course, I realize that your estimable parents didn't raise you that way and did everything they could to shield you from the liberal industrial complex. I highly recommend keeping this knowledge under your hats as much as possible, particularly if by the time you're grups, these unfortunate trends continue. It will give you an edge many of your peers will not have access to, or even understand.

Anyway, this is supposed to be about the fact that the richest, most powerful, and (arguably, it's complicated) freest nation the world has ever seen (so far at least) is about to choose a new leader, and most of its citizens wish there was a viable alternative to choose from. There ain't, and that's a fact, regardless of what the history books (will) say.

The Hilliam have a long history of corruption and managing to just miss paying a price for it (again, so far at least) and if one of you should decide to make a study of their lives in search of definitive answers you will find yourself on safari in a dizzinformation jungle. It's a man-made jungle they designed, with no shortage of help from our current cultural clerisy, a clerisy that believes that the end justifies the memes.(1) 

The bottom line is that since Slick Willie and the little woman left the White House they have amassed a fortune, estimated to be at least a $100,000,000 (and change) -- by being popular after dinner speakers. This is all you need to know.

As for the Donald, he's an alleged billionaire that has a history of endlessly shifting political, cultural and ethical stances. He seems to be rich, we don't know how rich, he won't release his tax returns. I normally would care less how rich he actually is, or even if, as they say in Texas, he's all hat and no cattle.


He markets himself as a wildly successful self-made man who's willing to use his immense natural ability to solve all of America's problems. Millions of people believe him.

Now, I've no idea how rich, successful, or intelligent he actually is -- but I do know this. He makes P.T. Barnum look like a rank amateur. He knows that people lead with their hearts and use their brains to justify their behavior after the smoke clears. He knows how to use this knowledge to build a following and battle his enemies. He knows that The Gubmint has become too large and too powerful and that the baby boomers knocked over the melting pot and set the culture on fire.

He knows that even many people who can't bring themselves to vote for a vulgarian are thinking that maybe even he would be better than the Hilliam, who personify everything that's wrong with America. We've no idea what he might actually do, but, [forgive me gentlereaders, for indulging my inner vulgarian -- desperate times/desperate measures] perhaps we need someone to go to DC and fuck shit up.

So, there you have it my dear Stickies and great-grandstickies. We are supposed to choose between the Wicked Witch of the Northeast and the Wizzard of Oz. I hope for your sakes it all turned out OK. Poppa loves you.

Have an OK day.

(1) The Clerisy

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