Saturday, March 12, 2016

Random Ramblings of an Old Crank

- I don't put links in my posts. If you've read what you'll find under the Please Read This First tab on my blog site then you  already know why so I hate to bother you... But, I'm not saying that it won't ever happen, also, I'm thinking about creating a links tab, a sort of repository for links I think you might find useful. I shy away from placing them within the body of my posts primarily for the following reason. Personal experience and a bit of research lead me to believe that multi-tasking doesn't work very well, that we're at our best concentrating on one task at a time.

Now, many writers would slip a link in here somewhere that would send you to an article about the downsides of multitasking. You click on it, start reading, then encounter another link that looks interesting and click on that. A half an hour later you come to and find yourself reading an article about why people find comfort in picking their noses. You notice that it's getting late. If you're going to get out the door in time to meet some friends for lunch, you better get it in gear. One of the subjects that comes up for discussion at lunch is the frantic pace of life in the new millennium. You all agree that the internet can be a wonderful navigational aid, literally and figuratively, when you're trying to find the right path and stay on it. But you also agree that the firehose of information made available by clicking a button can knock you on your ass.

Then your cell phone makes that neat little noise you recently downloaded that signifies an incoming message. As you reach for your phone, the ringtone you've chosen so that you know your snifigant other is calling sounds off...

- Two great ideas for fixing the mess in Washington, neither of which are original to me. First, congressional term limits. Your future king's (me) detailed thoughts on the matter, can be found by clicking on the Essay-Before You Vote tab. This won't be easy, it requires a constitutional amendment and amending the constitution is hard, as it should be. It's worth the effort though.

Our democracy was set up as a republic (we choose somebody to vote yea or nay for us), fortunately for us, because the dead white guys that designed it were well versed in history. I'll spare you the specifics of their reasoning because the vast majority of Americans, of course, are already familiar with it. This is why we're so proud of the fact that we can be counted on to vote, and conduct our lives, ever mindful of our deep sense of history and the lessons we've learned from its careful study and consideration.

For that small minority of you that found/find the subject boring and would/will do something about it, if only you had the time, think of it this way. Modern technology could easily make it possible for us to have  a direct democracy, that is, we could all log in and vote on anything/everything. So, your next door neighbor, the 400-pound alcoholic drug addict on disability that subscribes to the National Enquirer and Weekly World News and belongs to a cult that worships the Mother Goddess, Kim Kardashian, could gleefully directly vote yea or nay on all the important issues of the day while waiting for the flying saucer from the planet Tralfamadore to show up and offer a free ride to utopia.

That's why we have a republic. However, without term limits, an incompetent fool, who's just smart enough to steer enough (enough of other people's) money back to the citizens (or the powers that be) of their district - to buy another 2 years - might hang around 'till they drop dead. And, since congress runs on a seniority system, the longer they're in congress, the more (of other people's) money he'she or she'he can steer back to the citizens (or the powers that be) of their district -- to buy another 2 years.

[Aside: I've just figured out how to overcome (some of) my angst and confusion as regards personal pronouns. More than one enlightened feminist in the world objects to the convention of using him, his, etc. as the pronoun of choice in certain situations. Some writers have even resorted to always choosing the feminine form (pun intended) in such situations so that the reader will be impressed with the writers enlightened viewpoint. Example: When God created, um, people, she... I've done this myself but if I'm ever hauled into the Court of Political Correctness I'd have to confess that my motivation was that of a smart-ass, and not as an attempt to strike a blow for women's rights. Having seen the error of my ways, it's now my official policy to use he'she as a generic pronoun for any and all of my fellow humans that happen to look like they might be male (not to impose judgment or to imply, well, anything really). That goes for chicks too. We ran it through Mr. Peabdoy's Visa-Versa machine and we got she'he.

The second great idea for fixing the mess in Washington (admit it, you thought I forgot that I promised you two) wouldn't require an amendment, but we should pass one anyway so that's it's tough to get around it, is a requirement that all laws have a sunset provision. That is, at a certain date in the future, congress must reauthorize the law, or it's outta' here. Fool us once, shame on you, fool us twice, via that bogus piece of, um, legislation you snuck through the last time, shame on us.

I'm sorry this post turned out to be mostly political in nature, that wasn't my intention. Even I'm starting to find the endless stream of political news a bit tedious. However, if I were forced to define my writing style I would describe it as edited stream of consciousness, and my muse insists that this is the way to go. That's why you find me to be so fascinating and/or stupid.

- Some questions:
Almost every time I happen to catch a clip of Hillary Clinton giving a speech, she'he's yelling, why?

Am I destined for hell because if I ever meet God I'm going to ask him'her (crap, that's not gonna work...) why men have nipples?

Is it just me, or does Ted Cruz look like he'she's related to Lyndon Johnson?

London who?

Have an OK day.

©Mark Mehlmauer 2016

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