You can assuage your guilt and signal your virtue by tossing your favorite crank a quarter a week.

(20 cents a week in five-week months)

You may have noticed that my column is ad-free, pop up-free, clickbait-free, and there's nothing for sale.

You man not have noticed there are roughly 175 past columns you can easily access if you find me worth the effort.

You may have noticed that a brand spanking new column is published every Saturday evening at 7:11 (PM&ET).

[I just had an idea! I wonder what would happen if I called my column The Saturday Evening Post? I wonder if whoever owns the rights to that storied name would mind? Or even notice? Hmmm...]

Please click here or on the Patreon button at the top or bottom of my webpage to purchase a package of Colonel Crank's Instant Good Karma.

I Can Be Bought!
For a one-off donation of $50,000 I'll name my first Great-Grandsticky after you, or if you'd prefer, agree to never publish another column. Special offer: You can have both options for only $75,000.